Boob shots!
2009-01-22 12:33 a.m.

The Joys of Being a WomanI had my annual exam with my Physician's Assistant today. She had a new male nurse named Tho. I always let them take my weight at my annual exams because they need to have it. I tell all the specialists to forget it. I can only stand so much trauma per visit. "I don't want to know what it is, I say, taking off as much clothes as I decently can then I stand backwards on the scale so I can't see it, like some horrified anorexic who's terrified the carrot stick she at for lunch yesterday packed on twenty pounds. He takes my weight and immediately shouts out the number. I start jumping up and down whining. "I didn't want to know! I didn't want to know." "But but but, you're down three pounds from last year!" he says happily,pointing at the screen just in case I don't believe him. Then we hold hands and skip around the room chanting "I've lost weight I've lost weight!" Pretty stupid, but small things make me happy. Tho then took my blood pressure and pulse which were both a little high but not like 166 so no crash carts were surreptitiously wheeled outside the room. Then I was left to get undressed and make some sort of evening wear out of an open back gown and huge piece of white fabric that had a suspicious looking beige speck on it. After forming an off shoulder evening gown I played with the table control so I was sitting up and my legs were out flat. When my doctor came in, we discussed all of my sarcoid related maladies and a couple of the non sarcoid ones. She then proceeded to kneed and poke at my breasts like she was making pizza dough. Not only do my breasts get felt up every year, now they will be getting annual head shots. Oh the joy! The radiology nurse made sure to tell me 30% of all first timers get called back for further testing. I'm trying not to obsess but it's not easy. After checking out my who hoo area and scrippy scraping it, I was let go. Please click on the cartoon to view large and laugh. I think most of you know what I mean and those that don't....your time will come. Really, it wasn't bad at all.

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
What the hell are you doing?
2009-01-11 5:49 p.m.

I'm curled up in bed with Trin and there's a *crash!* in the mud room. I run in there and find that Loki has somehow gotten himself trapped behind the vacuum cleaner and some storage boxes. I dig him out and check to make sure he's okay. He's fine. Then I crawl back into bed to finish watching a show in my iPhone a few minutes later there's a *CRASH!* Followed by a loud cat scream. I run back into the mud room thinking that Loki has somehow blown up the furnace and find Loki struggling out from under a bunch of dresses because he's somehow managed to knock the long pole that I hang laundry and clothes on. He's fine. I'm going to go take a Valium.

7 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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