This happens frequently.

2009-01-09 3:29 p.m.

So I was discussing the elevator buttons in braille with another guy and he says: "What I want to know is why the drive through ATMS are all in braille!" KFK: "Yeah, like how many dogs know braille?"

... ? ... !

The conversation ended akwardly.

I Want My Three Dollars Back.

2009-01-03 2:39 a.m.

Dear Domino's Pizza,
I was pretty excited when you launched your online pizza ordering website. There's nothing I hate more than shouting my credit card numbers to a shrieking pimply faced excitable girl over the phone. I've ordered a few times with no problems. So I tonight I ordered a pizza and one two liter of Diet Coke. Since you guys have gone super skimpy on the cheese, I ordered extra cheese which ends up being regular cheese. Cheapskates. At 6:02 Stephanie got my order and started making my pizza. At 6:10 it was in the over and by 6:40 it was already out for delivery! I got my money ready, including a three dollar tip and waited...and waited..waited some more...balanced my checkbook...brushed the cats...performed an all feline version of High School Musical...waited...checked the pizza online. Finally there was a knock on my door at 7:20. The guy mumbled something about being busy, took my money and left.

First, I'd like to make the following accusation: STEPHANIE IS SMOKING CRACK IN THE BATHROOM. First of all my pizza was cold, tepid, not even luke warm. Secondly, the cheese wasn't even melted all the way, I could still see individual shreds of cheese that didn't get melted into his buddies. Whatever happened to your trade mark heater bag? Was the driver sitting on it to keep his ass warm as he drove over to his girlfriend's house for a quickie before he delivered my pizza? However, I was hungry and desperate, so I took out a piece and started eating it. Aside from it being cold, it tasted weird. Like a really dry congealed sandwich. What the hell? Finally, I dissected the piece of pizza only to find out there was no sauce on the pizza. At all. Who the fuck forgets to put sauce on a pizza? Well, apparently Stephanie does. I even went back and checked my online order to make sure I ordered sauced pizza and not the Left Over Thursday Dumpster Special. The only thing that was remotely warm was my two liter of Coke. Normally I like to eat a piece of pizza for breakfast the next day and another for lunch. This pizza went directly into the trash can. I can't believed I tipped three dollars for such a horrible experience. THOSE THREE DOLLARS WERE A LIE! I wish someone delivered bento around here.
Not totally Sincerely,
A Sill Hungry Kungfukitten

Happy Nude Deer

2009-01-02 3:01 a.m.

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year! The snow here all thawed and melted away last week. It went from a Christmas Winter Wonderland to the World's Largest Albino Slurpy. I felt sick earlier and dove into bed at eight hoping a little nap would make me feel better. Then I wake up to three inches of snow. What the hell? I just got a big order from Safeway but I feel like I don't have any food. I do have lots of bottled water and toilet paper. You'd think I would have learned my lesson and stocked up on canned goods and other pantry items.

Earlier tonight I dyed my hair. My poor hair that has been practically ignored for the last year. I had one professional haircut and I went crazy and dyed it hot cherry red at the beginning of the year. When the dye was sitting on my hair, the part that dries on my forehead was a super dark brown and I thought "wow, that's going to be dark" but when I dried it, it turned out a really pretty golden blonde. I kind of like it. Plus, it's nice to have all my hair one uniform color again. I dare say, I look cute.

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