Aliases.
2004-01-10 10:31 a.m.
Ever since high school I have come up with a bunch of aliases for myself. They come in useful for different occassions. For being an angsty punk rock teen-ager Syd Vicious or just Vicious suited me just fine. I didn't aspire to overdose on heroin, I just wanted something that sounded tough because everyone thought I was so quiet, shy and nice. ? Then I had an alias for the crappier of my writing that I wouldn't dare put my name onto. The name Armadillo Vicious was used solely for craptacular poetry and predictable action adventure novels. If I'm feeling really lazy and some wack-o asks my name on the bus I'll usually answer using whatever book I'm reading. I've been known to extend my hand and say "Hi, I'm Anita Blake - Mary Shelley - You may call me Lord Byron - Anne Rice - Morganna Le Fey" Then came Fi Fi Meringue. Fi Fi Meringue is a magician's assistant who spends most of her free time drunk in bars hustling pool. I use this name when some unsavory person introduces themself to me, usually in a bar setting. I use this when I don't want to give my real name out. Guess how surprised I was when I opened my Christmas gift from Angi to find a cute white v-neck T-shirt that had embroidered on the shoulder "Fi Fi." I must wear it next time I go out to play pool.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraCabin fever + digital camera = cheesy self portrait
2004-01-09 11:51 p.m.
Bored bored bored bored.
1 People have tried to sell me ViagraS.O.S.
2004-01-09 9:51 a.m.
My car is like Han Solo, encased in carbonite, except it's not carbonite but ice. I did manage to get into my car yesterday and let it run for awhile. I practiced my palm heel strikes on the ice, breaking it up so it would slide off my car. Now I just have a two inch ice block on the windshield where my wipers sit. My tires are also encased in ice and stuck to the ground.
I have been stuck in my house since Monday night an am running out of provisions. Please send a dog sled team to these coordinates with the following items:
One case of cabernet sauvignon
One pound of brie
A BBQ chicken pizza
Ceasar salad fixings
10 Lean Cuisines of mixed variety
A copy of Kung Fu magazine
8 oz.of Big Sexy Hair Blow Dry Hair Gel
One bag of baked lays potato chips
A six inch turkey Subway sandwich
Michael Rosenbaum
Thank you very much.
1 People have tried to sell me ViagraNow for the morning news report
2004-01-08 9:24 a.m.
Once again Portland is washed in a blanket of icy white and my office is closed for the morning. Once again I am suppose to call back at 11:00 and see if we are suppose to make the hazzardous trek downtown to work. I'm not optimistic, more freezing rain is in the forecast.
Now, I'd like to bring you...Crows on Ice! I was feeling sorry for the local squirrel population and dug around in the kitchen and the only squirrel friendly food I could find were some peanut butter crackers. So I opened the back door and chucked them out onto the frozen ice rink that was once my back yard. The cats are sitting on their window hammock watching the crows slip, slide, fall, fly and fight over the crackers. It's a laugh riot. I can't tell if the cats are making their cackling hunting noise or if they are actually laughing. That's it for the local entertainment.
On sadder news, I think my Airport base is dead. I'm using ancient technology (circa 1996) to update this website. I know the wireless card in my laptop works because I managed to pick up one of my neighbors wireless network but wasn't able to pirate myself on (avast ye mateys!) and then lost the signal. (arrrgh)
This just in: I'm not wearing any pants! Film at eleven.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraSnowed in part deux.
2004-01-07 9:31 a.m.
I'm stuck at home again today! The streets are covered with packed snow with a layer of ice over it. The warm front they keep promising has not showed up yet. I called into work this morning and they actually closed the office. They NEVER close the office. Even bomb threats are considered "optional" at times.
If you're wondering why I'm talking about the weather it's because nothing else is going on in my life! I just got off two weeks vacation where I pretty much stayed home, read, ate, meditated and watched Tivo and now I'm forced back into my isolation for more of the same.
I'm bored, leave me a comment, send me an e-mail!
Addendum: I found the Let Them Sing It site from Rebecca. Type in your lyrics and their database of songs takes each word and plays it. Incredibly entertaining. Also, Mrs. Roboto has taken the fine art of snowbound telecommuting to a new high.
5 People have tried to sell me ViagraFrozen documentation:
2004-01-06 8:14 p.m.
Just so you know I'm serious about the whole blizzard thing, I went outside and took some pictures. Remember, we don't normally get snow here or if we do it's melted eight hours later in a slushy mess. By tomorrow things should start melting but the morning is going to be an icy mess. There's a nice layer of ice freezing over the snow right now.
I like how the stop sign is all illuminated at the end of the road.
1 People have tried to sell me ViagraThe Amazing Blizzardo.
2004-01-06 3:48 p.m.
Holy crap! We're having a blizzard here in Portland. Really, the weather people showed a map of the northwest and had a big purple "blizzard" over the Portland metro area. Now we're moving on to the freezing rain. It sounds like somone's throwing gravel against the windows and the side of the house. I opted to stay home today. My car wouldn't make the trip downtown and I was leary about being able to catch a bus. Most of my team packed up some files to cart home "just in case." My heater has been going full blast since 9:00 this morning and has finally reached 68 degrees. I am not looking forward to this month's gas bill. I'm tucked up on the couch covered in a bunch of clothes and two cats. We are coooold. When it's really windy outside you can tell that my house is over 100 years old. Not much insulation and you can feel the breeze blowing up through the hardwoods.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraSo. very. tired.
2004-01-05 9:54 a.m.
The snow started the moment I stepped off the bus. I won't go on about how I didn't get any sleep last night until 5:00am and then someone called me at 6:00am wanting a telephone number. What am I, information? Grrrr. No sleep. Part of it was staying up so late during my time off. My hope is that I'll exhaust myself today so I can go to bed early and get back on track. On the up side I only had one voicemail and fifty e-mails and the file fairies got three medical reviews done for me while I was gone. So basically, work isn't as chaotic as I thought it would be this morning. Which means I'll have time to do the important things that you do at the New Year:
Buy a calendar for the desk
Buy new calendar inserts for Day Timer
Balance checkbook ~shudder~
Hit the sale at the Body Shop
Schedule eye appointment
So this is what 2004 feels like...
2004-01-04 7:33 p.m.
I have to go back to work tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to all the e-mails, paper mail and voicemails that I'll have to deal with. It'll be a full day of playing catch up. I've spent the last two weeks sleeping and eating tons of food. All the eating I've missed since July has been made up for in the last two weeks. Here's hoping I haven't actually gained weight. Is there such thing as aerobic television viewing? Because frankly that's all I've been doing between the sleeping and the napping. Today I ate leftovers (teriyaki chicken and pizza) and watched six episodes of Red Dwarf. Then I read some more in the Byron biography. Now I'm watching the new episodes of Ab Fab. I have the sudden urge to redecorate and buy some really wacky trendy designer clothes, sweetie darling.
Some of my kung fu buddies did the swim on their own despite the snow. Check them out here.
0 People have tried to sell me Viagra