KFK to the Rescue
2008-01-28 9:13 p.m.

I was a super hero today. I needed to pick up a prescription this morning and went to the little pharmacy by my house. I sat quietly for 20 minutes until my ticket was called. The counter has these little "walls" which are supposed to give each patient privacy but you can hear everything. There's no privacy, not that I really care....yet. "Is this the first time you've taken medication for syphilis?" Ha ha. Joking. So I present my ticket and my health card and the pharmacist helping the gal next to me says "You're not driving yourself home are you?" I peek and there's a young woman next to me who looks pretty sick. On the counter in front of her is some cough syrup and some pills. Poor thing must have the flu, I think to myself. Suddenly, she starts swaying and the pharmacist is diving over the counter trying to get a hold of her and screaming "Someone get a chair!"

No one does anything.

Kungfukitten to the rescue! I run around the wall and grab the girl by the scruff of her neck and jam my knee under her butt. With my other hand I lean and grab a chair from the waiting area and slide the seat under her knees as they buckle. I hold onto her shoulders and keep her upright so she doesn't knock her teeth out on the counter. There's a guy next to me who ran over to help, but he was pretty far away so kudos to him for having his heart in the right place. I sent him to get her a glass of water. Eventually, we got three nurses and a wheelchair and I had to relinquish my patient. She hadn't eaten in three days and didn't weigh more than 100 pounds. Bad combination. My thighs alone could keep me going through the winter.

Then I was told my prescription was filled...at a pharmacy in Gresham. Fuck. So I drove out there and back. I figure the cosmic forces sent me to the wrong pharmacy to help that girl from getting a concussion.

Also much thanks to Ransom for giving my car a jump start last night when I was an idiot and left the map light on overnight. My car now runs like it's on on car crack. I don't think I'll need a new battery after all.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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