Crunchy yoga.
2008-03-12 1:36 p.m.

My mother told me to do yoga last night. I read somewhere when one person tells you to do something it might be a sign from the universe. When two people tell you the same thing that's definitely a sign from the universe. However, when three people tell you to do the same thing, the universe is yelling at you to do it. I think I've had six people tell me to do yoga recently. That's like the universe grabbing me by the shoulders and bitch slapping back and forth across the face and shrieking "Do yoga you fucking bitch or I'm gonna beat the shit out of you! Are you listening to me?" Not very Zen, is it?

So last night I did some freaking yoga. I did Candlelight Yoga as produced by those Crunchy people. Or is it The Crunch? It's that set of health clubs that do cool work outs before they are cool. They were doing spinning when people were still riding mountain bikes down, well, mountains. It's actually a really nice work out because it's quiet slow and concentrates on breathing, while still working on flexibility. There where a couple of places when I was a little bored, so I just added in a couple of extra moves and at the end I did some leg lifts to work my abs.

The funny part, if you can consider this funny, is that I had to crawl to the bathroom this morning. Seriously, I was on my belly doing that military crawl as if I was sneaking under barbed wire. I could not walk. Not only was I stiff as hell, My legs were rubberized and made crunching noises. Now I know why they call those gyms The Crunch. My cats walked all around me and sniffed me, trying to figure out what sort of fun game I was playing. It's called the sarcoidosis and sore muscle crunchy shuffle. I had to laugh because I knew I must have looked like a moron. I crawled back into bed and took my medication and read for an hour and lo and behold, I could walk again! Halleluja! I still walk like an 80 year old woman, but at least I can walk to the bathroom instead of reinacting a military coup.

7 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Fine, I'll do yoga.
2008-03-10 10:20 p.m.

I went to bed "early" last night but tossed and turned until 1:00pm when my phone rang. It was my alma mater and I didn't pick up. They just want money. Sheesh. Just because you graduated from an expensive private college they think you're made of money and want to build a new wing on the library. Come on. I graduated with a degree in creative writing. That should be clue enough for you guys to skip over my name and move on to the people who got MBAs and degrees in computer science. I ate lunch and then took a nap which is probably sabotaging any hope I have for getting a normal night's sleep. Although I am still feeling tired. Maybe I've done that sleep deprived thing long enough that I'll be able to go to bed at a normal hour and get up at a regular time. Although I'm not holding my breath. My book came in the mail today and I've been leafing through it. The cosmic forces of the universe have all be telling me to do yoga. So I'm going to go and do some yoga. So get off my back already, k?

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
2008-03-09 10:46 p.m.

I found the website for the company that makes the frames I ordered and I think these are the ones. Only I think I ordered the black ones with the green accents. I tried on so many pairs it's all becoming blur in my mind.

I feel a little better that it was day light savings time last night because that means I wasn't up until three in the morning, I was only up until two. I don't know why, but that difference makes a big difference in my screwed up tiny mind.

I've been working hard at doing my yogic breathing and it's helping a little bit. I'm taking less anti anxiety meds and feeling slightly more hopeful. It was nice visiting with my brother when he came over. He's coping better than I am but I think that's partially because he's working on running his new company and has been very busy with that and comes home and collapses. He did spend a lot of time reading the insomnia folder I got from the class I took from Kaiser. I re-read it too and have to start going to bed at a decent time. Sometimes I'm scared to sleep.

The other night I woke up clutching my breasts certain that I was dying of breast cancer. Seriously, I really thought I was dying and I was trying to figure out how I could work and still go through chemotherapy. I thought if I could bring my little bathroom garbage can from home I could do it. It's the absolute best garbage can to throw up in. It's small plastic and pink and shaped in a way that avoids splashback. Then I realized I didn't have cancer and talked myself down. When that and the breathing exercises didn't work I took some pills and watched TV.

I've been watching a lot of Woody Allen movies. I don't know why. I don't really care for him but I've seen almost all of them. I watched Hannah and Her Sisters the other night and it was pretty cute. It had a schmaltzy ending but I like schmaltzy endings. They make me cry and feel hopeful.

I will do my very best not to stay up until 4:00am tonight. I promise.

4 People have tried to sell me Viagra
New Frames.
2008-03-09 3:00 a.m.

My optometrist was having a "trunk sale" today so I stopped by to pick out my new glasses frames. I did not see any trunks nor trunks on sale for that matter, but I did pick out some rocking new glasses. They're made by someone called pro:design in Denmark. They're squarish black with green accents. I look really smart in them and kinda hot. That is if you like girls in Danish glasses. That was about the highlight of my day. Hrm. I went to the store and took a nap so yeah, I'd say that was the highlight of my day. Maybe a nap wasn't such a good idea as it's now 3:00am. Crolly Hreaking Frap! I swear I'm working really really hard on regulating my sleep schedule and I've been doing my yogic breathing like Josie told me to. Inhale, one, two, three, four. Hold it, one, two, three, four. Exhale, one, two, three, four. Hold it and start over. Feel good yet? It takes awhile.

My brother stopped by on Friday and brought an external hard drive with him and we set up my iTunes library on it. It's awesome. Now I can play with PhotoShop again and I can download all the crap I want....until I fill up the hard drive and have to buy another one. I'd say that will never happen, but that's what I said before and look what happened? If they keep putting anime on the iCrack store I'm toast. Until then, whoo hoo!

1 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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