ninjas and canary island fighting dogs
2001-09-28 8:42 a.m.

I had a brilliant idea this morning while I was shaving my legs and listening to NPR. They want to put U.S. Marshals on all flights, right? How about if they put ninjas instead. They could randomly assign them seats where they would sit and casually read the newest article in "Ninja Today" which compares the different types of grappling hooks and features the newest tabi boots being worn on the catwalks of Milan. I think the mere presence of a fully dressed ninja would be enough to deter any hijacker. If they wanted to be covert they could stow the ninjas in the overhead compartment where they could suddenly pop out if there were problems. The only issue I could imagine would be if it was a long flight and the ninja needed to use the bathroom. That might be tricky. I'm sure they could recruit them from Ninja Burger.

My other idea had something to do with stewards having aerosol bottles of luncheon meat scent and canary island fighting dogs stored in the overhead compartments but that idea wasn't fully formed and I can already see problems with it.

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