The Evergreen Chronicles

2002-01-10 9:00 a.m.

Leaving the nest was difficult for my whole family. I basically got in a fight with my mother over independence issues and grabbed my clothes and records and took off in my car for a few weeks. During that time I was working two jobs in Tacoma and living out of my car or at my boyfriend's house in Seattle. The intelligent thing to do when you're homeless is to get a cat, right? So I got Chloe as my companion. She was my best friend for eleven years. *sniff* *sniff* Anyway, I eventually ended up in Olympia and decided to go to the notoriously liberal hippie school, Evergreen State College for a year. I called my parents and told them where I was and what I was doing and they graciously paid tuition and gave me a small stipend to live off of.

I lived in a disgusting apartment by the freeway. On one side of the wall were a couple who would fight all the time. He would beat her in loud and horrific ways. Once I was certain he had killed her. The police would never come when we called. I think they were worn out and tired of trying to help these people. Above us was a deaf woman and her two kids. During the night the kids would get up and have knock down drag out fights that sounded like they were tearing the apartment into pieces. Their mother blissfully slept through this night after night. There were fleas in the carpet and the cockroaches were so big and mean I once put a hole through the kitchen wall with a frying pan while trying to kill one. (The cockroach didn't die)

I had one roommate who was agoraphobic who I never saw except when she was making food for herself. My other roommate was a vegetarian folk rock hippie named Faye who had blonde dreadlocks down to her waist. Faye did not bathe. Ever. She thought of herself and natural. I though she smelled like dirty gym clothes and patchouli. Chloe didn't like her. I think she was mean to Chloe when I wasn't at home. Chloe once peed in her closet on a very pretty but dirty scarf. When Faye came stomping into my room waving it in my face I told her very calmly that Chloe wouldn't pee in her room if it didn't already smell like her litter box. She also used to get upset because Chloe would go into her room and eat her aloe vera plants.

One of the strangest things that ever happened was one day I walked into the bathroom and found a pair of bloody men's underwear soaking in the sink. They were Faye's. It was some sort of hippie moontime anti-patriarchal ritual. Or she couldn't afford a tampon. Ick. ickickickick.

The only time we actually got along and did something together was rent a movie. It was a warm balmy night and we walked down the hill to Top Foods. When we were in the parking lot, a car with two slimy teenage boys drove by shouting out the usual teenager pick up lines. Faye started screaming at them. "Fuck you! Can't two women rent a video without being sexually exploited? Fuck you and your patriarchal belief system!" I joined in shouting out feminist rhetoric. "Your sexual agression is merely a mask for your own unresolved homoerotic urges! You're estranged from your species being and that's why you feel it's necessary to idolize our bodies. We have minds too!"

They left confused. I don't even remember which video we rented. You've read the diary. How well do you know the kitten? Take a quick 10 question test to find out.

Previous | Next