Older, wiser, drunker.
2004-07-11 10:23 a.m.

Happy Birthday to me! The party went off pretty well. Aside from getting the room an hour late due to a naked man and a bunch of skankily dressed women who were double booked in our VIP room. There was lots of booze, lots of fabulous people and fun conversation. I got some amazing birthday loot including mix cd's, paint by numbers oil painting, a bottle of lemonchello, four bottles of wine, a poster of The Rock, some tequela and a wind chime. Also someone threw $100 onto the bar tab, thanks! You made getting a bunch of people drunk much easier. The big surprise of the night was when I was home and undressing to take a bubble bath and $28 fell out of my bra. Cool. I have a magical bra! (Or I just forgot I stuffed the money in there.) Here are some pictures:

Rebecca and Ransom.

This picture is so funny that I can't even come up with a witty caption for it.

Noah, Duane and Nancy strike some interesting poses. I think it's a symbolic post modern statement on American consumerism.

My buddy Paige came down from Seattle just for the soire.

Madonna and Brittney have nothing on us, baby.

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Criminal Intent
2004-07-10 10:06 a.m.

The trial ended last night about 5:45pm so I can now talk about it. I�ll make up a name so no one comes here via google search. A Mr. Henry was on trial for burglary and robbery. Apparently he was with a friend who had a gun. They entered a sleazy motel and asked a 12 year old if they could talk with his father. The boy invited them in an called for his dad. When his dad came out of the back bedroom the man with the gun put the kid in a headlock and held the gun to his temple. The father took out his wallet (and the $3 inside) and went to his knees. Mr. Henry helped the father to the ground and frisked him and took his watch off. The kid heard the revolver click and knew that the guy with the gun was going to shoot him so he pushed the barrel away. The gun went off and made him deaf in his right ear and gave him powder burns on his face. That�s how close he came to having his brains splattered. Mr. Henry freaked out and ran outside. The man with the gun left but not before firing off a shot at a fifteen year old girl in the parking lot. (She wasn�t hit).

Then things get weird. Two hours later there�s a 911 call from 30 blocks away about someone with a gun and someone else unconscious. The guy who had the gun was there and Mr. Henry has overdosed on heroin and is dying. The police can�t find the stolen property or the gun but they do arrest both men.

Our job during the trial was to determine if Mr. Henry comitted robbery and burglary. Mr. Henry�s defense was that he didn�t know his friend had the gun and he just gave him a ride to pick up some money that was owed to him. We found him guilty of burglary and guilty of robbery on the father. He didn�t actually touch or talk to the kid so we didn�t feel he was guilty on that count.

Now the wild part: after the verdict was read, the judge said he�d come back to the jury room to talk to anyone who had questions. Out of twelve of us only three stayed behind. I guess everyone was in a hurry to start their weekend but I really wanted to know what happened to the guy with the gun. Well the judge came back, shut the door and told us everything. The guy with the gun is serving 25 to life and has other charges pending. He�s a sociopath and a murderer. He�ll probably never get out of prision. Mr. Henry has already served two years in jail and will probably be sentenced to 70 months for this trial. As a juvenile Mr. Henry already had a manslaughter and a murder charge under his belt. The case we tried had already been tried twice before. Originally it started out with 30 counts and due to some screw ups we ended up only considering three counts and we didn�t hear the full story. He�s pretty much a career criminal.

I�m surprised how much a three day trial effected me. By the time I got home last night (went out for beers so I didn�t come straight home) I was exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally. I�m mostly worried about the kid, he was still very angry when he testified but he seemed like such a great kid. I hope he gets some counseling. He has the potential to turn into an amazing person.

This trial was really about the seedy side of Portland, all the addresses were places I was familiar with, close to home and where I used to live in Gateway. Everyone who testified was a meth user or criminal. Even dad was a meth user and lived in a sleezy motel. It was exhausting and depressing. Here�s to hoping the kid goes somewhere in life.

1 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Is that some rebar under your cleavage or are you just happy to see me?
2004-07-08 12:52 p.m.

I'd tell you about the trial but then I'd have to kill you. Details when everything is done.

I didn't line my underwear in foil but I did manage to set off the metal detectors this morning. You see, I bought this new super sexy bra for -uh, the well endowed woman - and it has some industrial underwire in it that makes the metal detector go nuts. I'm not huge or anything, just short with ample cleavage. A fierce wind to the back could tip me over. Comes in handy during sparring.

Yep, I'll wear it again tomorrow. Tally ho, time to go back through the metal detectors and into court.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Lust and Order SCU (sexy crime unit)
2004-07-07 9:42 p.m.

I was looking forward to spending two days in the jury room writing furiously and playing with the pirated broadband but DAMMIT they put me on a criminal trial.

Something I noticed today. There are lots of hot men in the courthouse. I'm seriously considering giving up crime fighting in favor of comitting crimes just so I can spend more time around the sexy security guards and luscious district attorneys. I'm currently lining my bra and panties with foil in hopes I'll get frisked tomorrow morning.

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Doing time in the courthouse.
2004-07-07 9:50 a.m.

Greetings from the exciting world of jury duty. I'm currently in the basement of the courthouse with about three hundred of my "peers" killing time until they start calling names for trials. I brought my laptop and was thrilled to discover that the courthouse has a wireless network. I followed the instruction sheet very carefully to get on the network for the jury room. I finally gave up and managed to hack into another wireless system in the courthouse. Shhh, don't tell.

I've got a book, my iPod, my iBook and a wireless network at my disposal. Hopefully I'll be able to keep myself from falling asleep and drooling all over the desk.

They just called the first fifteen jurors...I wasn't one of them. Oh well. I'm off to the iCrack store to take advantage of the broadband.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
This entry is brought to you by Starbucks.
2004-07-06 9:35 a.m.

People have been asking me what I want for my rebirthing day (we're counting backwards now). I thought I put up a link to my Amazon wish list (pimp! pimp!). It's there on the left under "wishlist" or send me a mix CD of new music. That would make me super happy. I'll even send you one back. E-mail me if you want my address.

I've been enjoying Rebecca's blog survey so much I thought I'd start my own. So it's interactive KFK day! Please answer these questions in the comments:

1. Who are you?
2. Where do you live?
3. Why are you here?
4. What are you eating/drinking?
Extra Credit: If your life was made into a made for TV movie who would play you?

12 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Happy Fourth of July!
2004-07-05 12:06 a.m.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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