Extreme version of the Siamese fire drill.
2009-05-15 6:59 p.m.

Early this morning both my cats crawled into bed with me. Trinity dove under the covers and curled up against my back, then Loki came into bed and gently punched me in the nose until I lifted up the covers so he could curl up into a little cat ball against my stomach. As I was surrounded in the warmth and purring safety of my cats, I couldn't help but think that this, this is what heaven was. I was warm, loved and so comforted by their gentle rythmic purring. Then the construction crew started tearing down my neighbors house. Suddenly, it was a swirling mass of fangs, claws and tearing sheets. Next thing I knew, I was in bed alone, uncovered and bleeding from several deep scratch wounds. Helluva way to wake up.

6 People have tried to sell me Viagra
2009-05-14 11:14 p.m.

As you guys know, I always need to have my iPhone within two feet of me or I start to sweat and go into convulsions. I downloaded a new time waster application that I need to squeal about. It's a sim game called the The Virtual Villagers 2: The Lost Children. Some people call it a kid's game, but I never would have figured out all of the puzzles if I didn't cheat often. Some things that are funny: when you want to increase the population you grab an adult villager and place them on another adult villager of the opposite sex and they kiss and go into a hut for a little privacy and sometimes, if you're lucky, the girl will walk out holding a baby. So, I was trying to get all the women in the village knocked up and only one of the man was apparently virile, because he impregnated all of them. Another time, I was so excited that I got rid of the algae in the bay that I threw all of the villagers into the water and they all became fisherman and my food reserves went from 400 to 35,000 the next time I turned it on. It's way too exciting to turn the game on each morning and see new children running around, who's old enough to work and who has a baby. I was quite sad when my first villager died. Molo was awesome. I totally recommend this game, it was only like $1.99 for the iPhone version. I've gotten hours of play out of it and I'm still on my first game.

5 People have tried to sell me Viagra
All Twitterpated.
2009-05-14 10:58 p.m.

I just signed up on Twitter and am trying to figure it all out. I downloaded my gmail contacts and I was all like "who the hell are all these people?" I'm slowly figuring it out. Most of them are actually 12% Beerites that I know by their Diaryland handle and not their real name. Crazy. My user name is Kungfuk1tten. Can you believe someone is ouot there impersonating me? (Not really) Every handle I tried and wacky versions of KFK didn't work. There's even a kungpaokitten. Who knew. If you're a twittering leave me a comment with you user name or link. Let the time wasting fun begin.

1 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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