Billy Blanks, my ass is in your hands.
2005-01-30 5:32 p.m.
That title sounds more lascivious than this entry is about. You see, last Sunday I was getting ready to do my improv show. We're required to wear black sport pants or shorts. I thought I could get away with my cute black stretch jeans because they're really dark, boot cut and make my ass look good. I grab them out of the drawer, pull them on and zipped them up. It took a little effort but I also got them buttoned. The only problem was I couldn't breathe. &$#@! I knew that eight months of injury would eventually catch up to me.
I dug through my shelves and dragged out ~don't laugh~ my Tae-Bo tapes. I have a 10 minute express workout tape that I've been doing this week to build up tolerance. The last thing I wanted to do was go all overboard and have a heart attack. I don't trust my cats to adminster CPR and dial 911. They're much more likely to grab my wallet and order a pizza.
Today I went all out and did the half hour tape. It was embarassingly difficult but I got through it. Maybe by the end of the month I'll be back into my jeans.
4 People have tried to sell me ViagraPeanut Sauce.
2005-01-29 10:28 p.m.
In a blender put:
2 cups of water
1 1/2 cup of smooth peanut butter
1/4 cup of rice wine vinegar
1/2 finely chopped red onion
2 tablespoons of finely chopped cilantro
2 tablespoons of grated fresh ginger root
2 cloves of pressed garlic
1 tablespoon of crushed red chili flakes
1 tablespoon of ketchup
1/4 cup of citrus infused soy sauce
juice of half a lime
1 tablespoon of sugar
1 tablespoon of sesame oil
Blend until smooth. If you like your peanut sauce spicy put in one finely chopped serrano pepper or a tablespoon of your favorite hot sauce. This is yummy over noodles and stir fried vegetables. It will keep in the fridge for up to a week but it tastes so yummy I bet it won't last that long.
2 People have tried to sell me ViagraThe easily amused.
2005-01-27 9:06 p.m.
I worked my ass off (I wish literally but that's another entry) this week and decided that I deserved a reward so I hopped into my car and went to Target (pronounced tahr-jay). First I needed a new ceramic curling iron as my crappy Revlon one literally fell apart after three months. After reading every single packet I found one by Conair I liked. Next to the curling irons were all the beard and mustache trimmers which is how I discovered that they make them for girls now. You know, like for your bikini line and for as the packet insert says "inside the bikini line." It's like your own personal topiary kit! I had no idea they made such a wonderous contraption and it has six freaking different attachments. I'm so excited! But if I don't restrain myself I'll end up with no body hair by sunrise.
On a less exciting note I also found a disco skirt, t-shirt, mascara, moisturizer, notebooks and a little area rug for inside the front door. The cats are going absolutely ga ga over the new rug. They're scratching the hell out of it and fighting each other for squatting rights. As the rug was only thirteen dollars and is machine washable I told the cats to go for it. What can I say, we're cheap dates and easily amused.
Chewie
2005-01-26 7:24 p.m.
I was digging through some old images and found this. I can't remember where I picked it up but it still amuses me to no end.
Addendum: My virtual drinking buddy LeeboZeebo has advised me that this is from a t-shirt at diesel sweeties just in case you want one! I'm still trying to figure out what's up with my comments. Maybe my supergold account expired. Still working on this.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraI crack myself up.
2005-01-26 10:45 a.m.
I decided to take a personal day today and stay home. My back has been killing me so I thought I'd give it a rest and catch up on my web surfing and Tivo programs. Plus I haven't finished watching season four of Red Dwarf. Trinity is curled up into a tiny striped ball at my side and I think Loki is snoozing in the cat hammock. I just downed some pain medication and am already feeling better. Back pain sucks.
I've been playing around making animated banners in Photoshop Elements. Here's what I came up with today for my site. What do you think?
8 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Something to do.
2005-01-24 1:45 p.m.
A survey I grabbed from Wicked Sezzy's diary.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1. Syd
2. Vicious
3. Anna
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD
1. vicious
2. sydvicious
3. nymphe
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. my creativity
2. my independence
3. my boobs
THREE THINGS YOU DON�T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. my aching spine
2. this extra fat
3. overly emotional
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. German
2. English
3. Swedish (can you say cracker?)
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. Diseases
2. Big dogs
3. swarms of insects
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1. eyeshadow
2. kitty kisses
3. diet coke
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Grey cashmere sweater
2. Nine west pumps
3. Black Old Navy swing skirt
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS (at the moment)
1. The Damned
2. Filter
3. Yoko Kanno
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (at the moment)
1. Trip Like I Do � Filter and Crystal Method
2. Heaven Knows � Mission UK
3. Warning Sign - Coldplay
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. Voice lessons
2. Belly Dancing
3. Sword fighting
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
1. Peace
2. Lots and lots of pretty shiny things
3. Angry weasel sex
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. I can read Latin
2. I once got punched out by a homeless person
3. I was the first person to reach the North Pole in short trousers.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or the same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. Sexy eyes
2. Nice dresser
3. Wide shoulders
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN�T DO
1. Get a man to propose to me
2. Read Beowulf in it�s original form without help
3. Read Sanskrit.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1. Writing
2. Kung fu (when I�m not broken *sigh*)
3. Yoga (see above)
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1. Sleep
2. Buy a bigger house
3. Win powerball
THREE CAREERS YOU�RE CONSIDERING
1. Novelist
2. Personal Shopper
3. Professional Wine Drinker
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
1. My couch
2. London
3. Italy
THREE KIDS NAMES
1. Sosia Favonia
2. Helena Justina
3. Jeremy
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Have a kid
2. Become famous
3. Write my memoirs
THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY
1. I need my space
2. I like to take control of chaotic situations
3. Uhhhhhh?
THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK
1. I cry at romantic movies
2. I still think there�s some dude on a white horse looking for me.
3. Make up and heels are a girls best friend.
THREE CELEB CRUSHES
1. Richard Patrick
2. Nathan Fillion
3. Hugh Laurie
Didn't totally suck.
2005-01-24 9:22 a.m.
The show last night went off better than I thought. I was nervous and sick to my stomach at first but it was a small and very forgiving crowd. We had some good support people, including this guy. I made a major faux pas by killing off both main characters in a scene � I actually made a woman in the front row gasp in horror. Oops! But I made a triumphant comeback in Switch Interview and Slogans although I was nearly brown bagged for my Wesson Oil slogan "Because it just wouldn�t be Friday night at Bob�s Tavern without it!" It could have been better, it could have been worse, at least I didn�t totally suck.
2 People have tried to sell me Viagra