Insomnia, hemp, science and explosions.
2009-10-08 3:49 a.m.

I've embraced insomnia and have been using this time to telecommute. I get a lot of stuff done but the problem is that when it's suddenly four o'clock I find myself wired and can't go to sleep. Some day I hope I'll be able to sleep again and someday I hope I'll be able to have nice dreams instead of ones where I am killed repeatedly all night long. Yeah. It's not fun. I really hate it when my subconscious turns against me. What have I ever done to you?

In other news I've been performing scientific experiments in my bathroom. Wow that's a really weird sentence. I should clarify. I've been trying to develop the perfect bubble bath. I've done a dozen experiments and have taken a whole lot of bubble baths. I've discovered that although essential oils smell super good, they tend to liquify bubble bath when used at 1%. This isn't exact because I'm just eyeballing the measurement of bubble bath and counting drops of oil. I also ordered a gallon tub of hemp based lotion. I think i have enough for like a bazillion bottles. EVERYONE is getting bubble bath and hemp lotion for Christmas. Including you.

The lotion is quite awesome. It's not just hemp but also has sunflower seed oil, evening primrose oil, shea, meadowfoam seed oil and seaweed extract. It's like food for your skin. Why hemp is neat, is not only does it make me feel like a rebel and a bad girl, but it has linoleic and linolic acids which are the essential fatty acids that prevent disease and aid in wound healing and are thought to help with anti-aging. I've been using this lotion on my face and the skin just sucks it up. No break outs or anything. In fact, hemp is recommended for acne and eczema. Have I sold you on this yet? I've been concocting an eye cream out of this by adding Hyaluronic acid with Matrixyl, Argilene and some other peptides. I call it Kungfukitten's Peptacular Eye Cream. I just discovered that you can buy the ingredients in expensive face creams and make your own. Strivectin? Make it for $15. Same ingredients. I've been spending way too much time (and money) at Skin Actives. What I like about them is it's a mom and son run company and it's all about the science. Everything they sell is backed up by scientific articles. They even have a couple of items (proteins?) that they are patenting. Cool. Go there and buy lots of stuff. If I had to recommend one thing, I'd say the Let's Make Collagen serum is amazing. It's only $12.50. If you were to buy this at Sak's they'd charge you $150 and give you half as much. If you really want to go crazy buy the Serum Quartet and get four serums for $38. I feel like I'm ripping them off. They have some ready made products, like the serums, but what most people like to do is buy a pot of canvas base cream and then buy the actives and mix up their own special potion. It's a lot of fun.

In other news, I nearly killed myself the other day. I was almost done curling my hair and set the curling iron down on the counter. That's when I noticed a little blob of mineral makeup on the counter. I bent down and blew on it, to get rid of said blob and my curling iron exploded in my face. Seriously. It went Fzzzt bang! and fire shot out from the tube. It tripped the surge protector in my outlet and broke the curling iron. I suppose the curling iron could have just decided to die on it's own but I think it was the puff of mineral make up that exploded it. So be careful! Don't mix curling irons and mineral make up. I'm going with Conair this time. I hope my eyebrows grow back soon.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Saint Julia
2009-09-17 1:05 p.m.

I found this in the little notebook that I've been dragging around with me the last few months:

Saint Julia of University
Patron Saint of cardigan sweaters, nearsightedness and female novelists. In order to secure her blessing, light a pink candle, make a strong pot of coffee and write a ten page essay on the symbology of the moon in Jane Eyre and she will grant your boon.

1 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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