I am a salmon murderer
2002-01-11 4:00 p.m.
Guess who's coming to my town in March? A bunch of monks! I just bought tickets for Shaolin Wheel of Life tour online. I'm very excited and can't wait to see it. ~does happy dance around cubicle~
The full moon isn't until the end of the month but all the insane people are downtown right now. I decided to celebrate my joining a gym by going shopping during my lunch break for some fashionable work out clothes. During my four block walk I was accosted by: 2 hare kristnas, 3 street people asking for money & a mime. Yes, a freakin' mime. I thought mimes were an eighties or a French thing. Then while I was waiting in line to make my purchases an angry woman starts screaming at the front door that she's going to wait outside for some girl to get off work and beat the crap out of her. The manager is a short young Hispanic dude that is very calmly trying to get her out of the store. "Good bye, you're leaving now. Good bye." And I'm thinking how fast can I get over there if she jumps him? Yes, for some reason I think it's my duty to defend the manager of the department store. It's the public service kung fu side of my psyche. Not that I'd be able to do much. Maybe if I ran over and screamed "I know kung fu!" she'd run screaming from the building. Or I could strangle her with the new sports bra I was buying. The manager eventually gets her out the door and calls 9-1-1. I am alert with cat like readiness as I pay for my purchases and watch insane lady rant and scream on the sidewalk. She knows he's calling 9-1-1 and is shouting out the numbers "Nine one one! Nine one one!" with her face pressed against the glass window. Eventually her self-confidence wanes and she wanders off before the police show up. When I'm sure she's gone I decide it's safe to quit my body guard duties and I head back to the cubicle.
When I'm stuck waiting for a light to change I get harassed by someone wanting me to sign a petition to save the salmon. Now, I don't have anything against salmon per se, but I don't feel right just signing a petition without knowing exactly what I'm signing and the entire story behind the petition. Since my lunch break is over ten minutes ago I say no, end up looking like a freakin' salmon murderer because I don't want to sign this guy's petition.
*sigh* I can't wait to get home lock the doors and hug my Simon and cats. (and try on my new clothes)
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