Catatonic Man and I am Rabies
2001-12-04 7:52 a.m.

There are a lot of strange people that hang out downtown. There is this homeless guy who stands on top of newspaper boxes and freezes in the same position for hours. We all refer to him as catatonic man.

"Hey, I saw catatonic man this morning by Pioneer Place."

"I was just there during lunch and he's still there."

Yesterday I was doing some shopping and noticed something different about catatonic man. Right by his foot ontop of the newspaper box was a little plastic cup with tape across the front. Written in black ink was "tips."

If I were an affliction I'd be:

Congratulations, you're rabies!

Transmitted by rabid animals, you're most commonly found infecting creatures such as raccoons, skunks, bats and foxes. But don't worry, you affect humans too, causing either paralysis or hyperactivity in your advanced stages, and ultimately death.

Your most famous symptom is hypersalviation - that delightful foaming at the mouth that we have come to know and indeed love. However, you can also cause hallucination; think of the fun you could have at parties!


Take the Affliction Test Today!

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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