Friday Five.
2002-10-18 12:21 p.m.

Welcome to the Friday Five.

1. How many TVs do you have in your home? One, but it's big and hooked up for surround sound.

2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week? Way too much. So much that I'm too embarassed to answer this question honestly so I'll lie and say 20.

3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children? Not if it keeps them quiet and out of trouble.

4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken? Buffy, Farscape, Firefly, Smallville, Law and Order.

5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like? It would be called the Annoying British Comedy Network and would feature back to back episodes of: Keeping up Appearances, British Men Behaving Badly, Are You Being Served, The Young Ones, Black Adder, Mr. Bean, Monty Python, Thin Blue Line, Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers and AbFab.

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Doing hard time in the cooler.
2002-10-18 12:00 p.m.

Late last night Loki was picking on Trinity and basically being a jerk. Charles broke up the fight and threw Loki into the "cooler" which means that he locked him in the bedroom with me. After some pacing and snorting, he eventually curled up on the bed by my feet. Right before I drifted back off into sleep I heard a noise at the door. It was Trinity pushing her new favorite toy (plastic straw from McDonalds) under the door jamb so Loki would have something to play with while he was in time out. How cute is that?

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Blah, blah, blah.
2002-10-17 2:35 p.m.

I've been feeling rather blah this week. I'm tired, headachy and cranky. I went to the bus stop this morning armed with an industrial canister of police grade pepper spray. Alas, no perverts. I went to the doctor on Tuesday morning convinced I had an ear infection. Oddly enough my ears and just fine, it was my jaw hinge. It may be a bit of TMJ. I told her I'd try ibuprofen and muscle relaxers for a week and if it doesn't get better I'd ask for a referral to a specialist. Hey, at least my ears are healthy.

Since I was feeling so crappy I went to Nordstrom's Rack to partake in some shoe therapy. I found a really cute pair of black Cole Hann lace up boots and some Nine West black wedge mary janes. My feet feel super cute. However, I only feel moderately better which means I should probably go shopping on my next break too.

My team is taking the boss man out for drinks after work. It you don't work in a cubicle farm that you may not know that yesterday was Boss' day. I cut some pretty dahlia's from the back yard for his desk and we all brought in treats. I think I've had my chocolate quota for the year. The diet is not going well this week, which is why I've been shopping for shoes and not jeans!

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You will donate to the United Way!
2002-10-15 2:55 p.m.

I am currently featured on my company's intranet site in a story about the Automated External Defibrillator training I did last week. I can't tell if this picture looks like we're actually reviving someone or if I'm comitting a robbery.

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If you see this jerk please kick his ass.
2002-10-14 9:51 a.m.

Man oh man. I was accosted this morning while waiting for my bus. I was standing at the bus stop, which is along a highway so there's lots of traffic in the morning, and this moron drives up behind me and starts asking me for directions. I want to be helpful but I don't walk right up to his car and stick my head through the passenger window. Which is good because he's masturbating and trying to get me to watch. I call him a pervert and tell him to go away, as he's driving away I'm writing down his license plate number. When I get on the bus I report it to the driver and he reports it to Trimet police and tells me to call 911 when I get to work.

Part of me is all right with how I handled it. I didn't get too close to his car so there wasn't a chance of me getting grabbed. I ended the conversation as soon as I realized that he was a freak. I also got his license plate number.

Another part of me is really upset that 1. My cellphone wasn't charged up. 2. I didn't put my industrial strength mace back on my keychain after I got back from the airport last week. and 3. I didn't scream and yell at the bastard and let him know this sort of thing was wrong.

I feel like I should have been more angry and aggressive about this whole thing. I had fantasies about filling his car with mace before he drove off. That would have been so fucking cool. Instead I was so Miss Customer Service, polite and nice even after I realized that he was a psychopath. When I called him a pervert it was more of a rolling eye exasperation rather than an angry accusation.

If you want to find this guy and beat him up for me feel free. He's in his early twenties with a really greasy blonde mullet. He has a big gap between his front teeth. He's driving a gray two tone Chevy chevette Oregon license number QYG736. His right to privacy ended when he accosted me.

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