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Par For The Course
2013-09-05 1:41 a.m.

While I was waiting for the bus, a crazy lady began yelling at me. I had my headphones on and just ignored her, because it was clear she wasn't asking me anything I could answer. She seemed happy to spend her time cursing at me from afar. It was clear from her screaming, swearing and threats that she had mental problems, perhaps even schizophrenia. At one point she got tired of accosting me and went into the bus shelter to sit down. However, she soon became enraged at the fact I was ignoring her and came back out to holler and yell in my general direction one more. Then she starts really freaking me out by walking behind me and yelling at the back of my head. So now I have to keep casually turning so I could see her out of the corner of my eye, because in the past I have been physically assaulted by crazy people more times than I can count. Finally, she walks right up to me stands there with her hand on her hip, cigarette parked in her mouth and her eyes shriveled as she glares at me and demands "Who the hell do you think you are? What the fuck is your name, anyway?" Ah ha! Finally a coherent question that I can answer. "My name's FiFi," I say giving her my favorite alias. I like to go by FiFi Merengue or Dr. Yolanda Pfefferneuse when I'm not being myself. Crazy Lady continues, "FiFi? FiFi, who? Who are you, who are you married to?" I can see that she's fishing for a last name so I say, "I'm not married to anyone," "You're damn right you're not! Mother FUCKER!" She screams as she walks away and continues to slander me, or at least FiFi, from afar once again.

This is not an isolated incident. I ride the bus to work and thus spend an inordinate amount of time on street corners. I've been punched, chased into traffic, threatened and called the Devil. I've had drunk guys propose to me or offer to share their stash with me. I've had my boob grabbed, my ass felt up and my skirt lifted. I've seen more male genitalia than I ever wanted to. I've protected other people when fights broke out around us. I'm so used to it that it's par for the course. That's why my crazy danger meter is set so much lower than everyone else's. Thats why when someone comes into the clinic who's definitely a little off, but is asking coherent questions, it doesn't occur to me that you can actually kick these people out. Apparently he had an open container of beer that I didn't see or smell. Yeah, that would have set off my crazy meter.

1 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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