Bond Girls and TMI
2007-08-11 1:46 a.m.

A Retake on Pussy Galore 169/365I'm part of a top secret society on Flickr dedicated to girls who like to make each other laugh by flashing our asses. This weeks theme was Bond Girls. Could it have been any more difficult??? So that's my entry. My own incarnation of Pussy Galore. Thanks to Trinity for loan of her tail. It could have been better. It needs some cleaner photoshop work but it's all right. I spent more than enough time on it. You can't see it in this picture, but my photoshop skills are improving by leaps and bounds. As soon as I figured out how to use layers and masks a whole new world of photoshop opened up to me. Quickmask still confuses me but straight forward black and white masking and layers I have nailed. Awesome.

I had my first dietary mishap on Alli this week. I made myself a little tiny pizza with skim mozzerella, but I used way too much of it. I scraped off a lot of the cheese, but I still ended up eating too much. My stomach spent about 24 hours rumbling and grumbling. It didn't hurt but there was definitely something rather exciting going on in my digestive tract. Exciting indeed. So when it was done, er, processing, it was time for that excess oil to exit. And I don't care how tight assed you are, nothing is going to keep oil firmly in place until you have time to skip to the loo. If you know what I mean. And I think you do. Thank goodness I was at home. The only pesudo-cool thing about this drug is when you do go to the facilities and see the oil floating around on the water, you know that the drug is working and that's oddly comforting. This has taught me a valuable lesson. Fat = bad. If I stick to 15 grams a fat per meal I have absolutely no side effects. Enough bathroom talk but you guys wanted to know how it worked.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
All burned up and no place to go.
2007-08-07 11:53 p.m.

Pajamas 165/365I wish I had something super exciting to write about. If I had more energy I'd lie and make up something. *yawn* But I don't have more energy. I think the sarcoidosis is flaring up and kicking my ass. I can barely type and hold a pen, and my ankles and wrists are swollen and aching something fierce. Despite all my medications I'm still in excruciating pain. This sucks. I thought about going back to the doctor but I'm tired of bugging them. My rheumatologist only wants to see me if there's something he can stick a needle into. He'd have to stick a needle in all of my body to fix me. They could run some tests but so what? No matter the results it wouldn't change anything. I really hate feeling stuck. I need a body transplant. Or maybe I could put my head in a jar like they do on Futurama. For fun tonight I burned off the skin on my face with a chemical peel. Fun! I keep feeling my face now because it's smoooooth. Super smooooth. Like marble. My skin is gorgeous now. Tomorrow it will be oily but a few more peels and I'll have lovely white skin with no scars, spots or (hopefully) wrinkles. Most excellent.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
My Alli.
2007-08-05 10:19 p.m.

Slowly 164/365I've been taking Alli the last couple of weeks. I haven't really told anyone because the diet drug has all sorts of scary ass (literally) side effects. Their website calls them treatment effects. Hilarious! So far, I haven't had any problems. At all. Frankly, just taking the pill puts enough fear into me to correct any bad behavior. I am now terrified of fat. If only it were terrified of me. I also haven't weighed myself until Saturday so I really don't know if I've lost any wieght the last couple of weeks. I just hate the scale, you know? I hate how the numbers can ruin my mood. I hate how I can starve myself for weeks and the numbers don't change. It's such a drag. I even have one of those super expensive Tanita scales that is suppose to tell you what your body fat is. Boy is that a joke! My body fat can change each time I get on the scale. Saturday morning my body fat was 33. An hour later after not eating or drinking anything or changing clothes, it was 44. I gained ten percent of body fat while watching television. Amazing. I think the technology isn't quite there yet. Does anyone have a body fat scale that actually works? I'll keep you informed (aren't you excited?) on my progress and if I experience any treatment effect such as sound barrier breaking farting or explosive oily diarrhea.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

Previous | Next