I have a sharpie.
2003-05-16 12:32 p.m.

I am able to move my body parts a little more today. Yesterday after yoga class my body completely shut down. I couldn't walk (or when I did I looked like a 97 year old lady with a broken hip), I couldn't stand for long periods of time and I would slip out of consciousness if I sat down for more than ten minutes. I had very good intentions of going to kung fu class but frankly my body was trashed beyond hope. Today I'm abulating better and am brazenly wearing high heels. Tonight I'm going to go see a live showing of This American Life. I love this radio show. It always seems to be on the radio when I come home from kung fu class and am soaking in a hot bubble bath. I always stay in the bath until the water is tepid and the bubbles are gone just so I can hear the whole show. Do you think Ira Glass would sign my breasts?

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That's a new one.
2003-05-14 3:27 p.m.

I learned my first flying kick combination in kung fu last night. Its my first kung fu move that looks like something out of a kung fu movie. I was actually surprised about how much height I could get out my kick. Of course, the higher I went the more my technique deteriorated. I was having a lot of fun until I pulled a muscle on my butt. You haven't lived until you pull a butt muscle doing a flying kick. I wish I had started this when I was twelve rather than in my thirties. Oh well, each week brings a new and exciting injury. As a treat to myself for starving and exercising like a fiend all month, I called the spa and booked a three hour treatment during Memorial Day weekend. After all this hard work I figure I deserve to be steamed, massaged, exfoliated, mud masked and pedicured.

1 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Next time bring more detectives.
2003-05-13 9:49 a.m.

It sometimes scares me how completely real my dreams seem to me. I woke up this morning after dreaming about being an Law & Order SVU detective. Detective Stabler and I had just rescued a kidnapped girl out of the trunk of a bad guys car. I was running with the girl, trying to get her into the car and Stabler was stuck on the otherside of the road. The bad guy started coming after me and the girl with a gun. I drove off but had to leave Stabler behind. I blearily walked to the bathroom this morning thinking "Stupid, stupid! What the hell were you thinking? You should have had back up�" until I realized that it didn't really happen.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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