Hell is for sling backs.
2008-06-06 2:47 a.m.

Why am I up at this hour? Probably because I called in sick to work today (yesterday?) and spent all day sleeping and having crappy dreams. I had a weird dream that my closet was an entry way into hell and I had to go to hell every time I needed to put on a pair of shoes. I don't know why I didn't just go shoe shopping instead. It would have been easier than fighting all those demons for my pair of three year old beige Van Eli kitten heel sling backs. Why is it when you're sick it screws up your dreams? Is it the fever that's burning my body and making me dream of hell? Why couldn't I dream about being in a nice hot sauna with Johnny Depp dressed as a pirate?

It's been about a year since I've gotten my iPhone and I must say the love affair continues unabated. My newest favorite thing in the whole wide world to do is curl up in bed with my iPhone when I'm insomnia-ing and watching crazy (most likely illegally downloaded) anime on YouTube. My newest faves are: Kyou Kara Maou (I love Conrad-o), Ruori Kenshin, and Neon Genesis Evangelion, I also ran across a show called "Princess Princess" which is about a boys school that makes pretty boys dress as girls for the morale of the school. What's even funnier (if you find cross dressing blue haired boys funny) is that there is a real life version! The Japanese are hilarious. I think they enjoy cross dressing as much as the British. Seriously, go to You Tube and search for Princess Princess and you'll see both. Utter weirdness.

3 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Filler er up with menthol please.
2008-06-05 12:34 p.m.

I was driving around yesterday and having a small heart attack every time I passed a gas station. Gas is around $4.25 a gallon for the good stuff here. It's totally unreal. It costs over $40 to fill my tiny toy car up with car food. I was almost home and I passed a Quick E Mart and noticed that Marlboros were on sale for $3.99 a pack. I'm not a smoker but I think this is the first time in my life when a gallon of gas is more than a pack of smokes. Except perhaps during the gas crisis of the 70s, but I wasn't driving then. I was sitting in the way backseat of our green wood paneled station wagon facing the wrong way, hanging my feet out the back window and singing camp songs. Can anyone back me up on this theory?

5 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Where I get it from
2008-06-04 12:11 p.m.

My dad is doing so well that my parents have decided to take the commuter bus to his appointment in Seattle this week. I thought about this for awhile last night and then got worried that their car might get broken into at a park and ride, so I called them back.

KFK: "You know, I was thinking, you should take everything out of the car so nothing will get stolen."

Mom: "I already did. We just have some big jugs of oil that need to be recycled. *hopefully* Do you think they'll take those?"

KFK: "Here's what you do. Get a black felt pen and write on the top of the jugs M-E-T-H."

Mom: "Omigod, that's a great idea!"

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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