My Evening With Snarky McSnorters
2007-05-17 2:07 a.m.

Six Paws and One TailTonight was week two of the pain management class. I got stuck sitting next to Snarky McSnorters who spent the entire class rolling his eyes, snorting in disgust and laughing at everyone in class. I'm fairly certain he's there because his doctor said he'd cut off his narcotic script if he didn't make an effort to manage his pain. It was so totally annoying. I mean, I don't really care if someone isn't getting anything out of the class and they want to spend the time defacing their learning materials. I don't even mind the excessive eye rolling, but the snorting in disgust and laughing at other people's pain management ideas is simply rude. We end each class with a guided meditation (I wrote guided medication which would be pretty relaxing too, I imagine) and Snarky McSnorters spent the time instead filling out his homework (which was due before class) and slamming his pen on the table and rustling his papers around. I couldn't even participate in the meditation because I couldn't hear the facilitator due to his incessant fidgiting. So I changed the meditation to me using my wicked kung fu skills against Snarky McSnorters. Ah yes, a nice roundhouse kick to his head! A quick backfist to his temple. Next I deliver a spinning flying kick to his solar plexus. Now a few jabs to his chin and a knock out punch to his jaw! It wasn't exactly relaxing, but I found it surprisingly satisfying. Next week I'm not sitting next to him. Really, it's for his own safety.

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