Keep Your Religion, I mean Jesus, Off my Porch.
2007-08-16 1:28 a.m.

*Ding Dong*
KFK: opens door Yeeeeees?
Gloria: Hi! My name is Gloria.
KFK: Hi Gloria. What do you want?
Gloria: I'm hear to tell you the good news!
KFK: Oh. My. God. You're from Publisher's Clearing House!?
Gloria: I'm hear with my friend visiting your neighborhood-
KFK: Ed McMahan? Ed's here? cranes neck looking around Where is he? Is he going to be jumping out with a big cardboard check?
Gloria: We're visiting your neighbors to spread the good news.
KFK: disappointed Is this a religious thing?
Gloria: Religion has so many negative connotations to it. This is more of a whips out black leatherbound bible bible thing!
KFK: Oh.
Gloria: You know Jesus was such a great man and taught us so many important lessons when he was on Earth and-
KFK: Gloria. I'm going to have to stop you there. I have my own spiritual path that I'm quite happy with. You go off flicks fingers in vague direction towards the street with Ed and talk to someone who needs to find religion- I mean the bible. Jesus. Whatever. Good luck to you and be careful. Some of my neighbors are of the shoot first ask questions later mentality.
Gloria: Well, okay God Bless-
*Slam!*

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
The Hair Ball
2007-08-14 11:29 p.m.

Lift me up 173/365Tonight I pulled out the flea comb and sat quietly on the couch. I tapped it with my fingernail a couple of times and Trinity came running and jumped up on the couch for some combing. A few minutes later Loki walked into the room and saw what was going on. He very slowly climbed up on the couch and carefully inserted himself between me and Trin so I'd have to comb him instead of her. Cheeky little bastard. Trin was done anyways so she stalked off all shiny and sexy and let me comb her roommate. When I was done combing I started pulling all the loose fur out of the comb. Loki's eyes got big and dilated. This was his favorite part of spa night. The making of The Hair Ball™. I discovered the power of The Hair Ball™ by accident. I threw the discarded fur on the couch one night and Loki tried to play with it. A handful of loose cat fur is a pretty pathic toy and it kept getting stuck in his mouth. Eew. Hence The Hair Ball™ was born. You take the fur and wind it into a tight little ball. It takes some skill and patience, but when you're done you have a nice little cat toy. It's light so it skitters across the hardwood floors easily. It's recycled, renewable and completely organic. There may even be hemp involved. It kind of depends on your cat's personality. After The Hair Ball™ is done toss it into the air and watch your cat go nuts! He's still chasing it around the house. I know. My cats are weird. As long as they're happy.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
To Date or Not to Date.
2007-08-14 1:04 a.m.

Sitting on the Fence 172/365So I've been wondering if I should try Match.com again or not. Maybe even eHarmony, except the last time I tried them they matched me up with a married guy. Hrm. I need to quit spending so much time alone or I'm going to start getting crazier. It's been a couple of years since I've had a steady beau and a few years since I was in a relationship. I keep telling me there has to be a nice grown up guy out there somewhere. At least one or two of them.

In other news. I've been digging the free lectures at iCrack University. Today I listened to a lecture on Victorian Women and also one on Psychology and Dreaming. I recommend both of them! Go into the iTunes store and do a search for Jennifer Burns, Jeremy Wolf and/or Rachel Teukolsky. They'll blow your socks off. In a good way. The dreaming and psychology one by Jeremy Wolf is quite fun because we all dream and hearing the psychological theories about dream and how that all changed once REM was discovered is really cool. Something I learned when I went to college is that I'm an auditory learner. You'd think being all artistic and crap, I'd be a visual learner but no, I primarily learn by listening. This means, in order to do good in school I have to attend every single class, sit in the front row and just listen. I can't take notes, it just interrupts the storage process. If I show up and sit, then I remember and understand everything. This probably explains why I'm not very good at advanced math. It's really hard to learn just by listening.

To answer the questions from last week. The face peel I'm using is Remede's 3 Minute Peel. I got it on sale last year, so keep your eye out for it. I have used acupuncture for many conditions, but didn't find it helpful for back pain or sarcoidosis. It was very helpful for neurosarcoidosis, when my face was paralyzed x2. The meds I'm currently taking for sarcoid are Methotrexate IM 8cc once a week, Restatis for the eyes along with little tiny eye plugs, Nortriptyline, and the misc. pain meds and anti-inflammatories. We've talked about Remicade but I'm scared of the potential for cancer. It's a scary ass drug. Sometimes people will contact me and try to sell me on some fringe treatments like long term antibiotics for sarcoid. I really don't buy that my condition is due to bacteria, plus the last couple of times I've been on antibiotics I've had a serious allergic reaction, so I'm saving antibiotics for when I really need them, like pneumonia or something. I think that's all the Q & A I had.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

Previous | Next