Let's call him John
2001-10-04 8:19 a.m.

I can't remember his name but let's call him John for fun.

John had to push his dead girlfriend's body out of the way to turn on the light switch in the newspaper room. She had hung herself next to the darkroom. I don't know if she planned for him to find her. If she did, I don't understand why she hated him that much.

He was a nice guy but vapid, empty. Like everything inside had been sucked right out of him. He went through the motions of daily life and participated but had this wild look in his eyes, like a trapped rabbit, like if you said the wrong thing he'd bolt into the underbrush and you'd never see him again.

It was summer and I was living with Teresa. Ah, *Teresa*, that's another dozen entrees. She had gotten some free tickets to the local baseball game. They were always free, no one in their right mind would pay for these tickets. So we called John on a lark and he went to the game with us. We thought it would be good for him to get out more and since we roommates we always needed a "buffer" so we wouldn't be tempted to rip each others heads off.

They served warm beers in those gigantic big gulp containers with the delicate saran wrap caps. We each got a gigantic beer (I think Teresa was underage but they never card at baseball stadiums) and settled into our seats to watch the game and catch a hefty buzz. We yelled along with everyone else taking our cues from people who were actually watching the game.

Afterwards they had a fireworks display. We didn't know this was part of the deal and were delighted. Suddenly a breeze picked up and flaming debris started raining down on our section of the stadium. We were pretty buzzed so the idea of getting burnt was kind of cool.

The announcer came over the loudspeaker. "It looks like there's some flaming fall out blowing over to the south section of the stadium. If you're in that section you might want to protect yourself."

I started to take a sip of beer, watching the pretty sparks rain down around me and John nudges me in the ribs, then leans over and says "Don't worry, I'm wearing a condom."

I laughed so hard I spit beer on the back of the head of the guy sitting in front of me. That ensued in even more laughter. I managed to convince the guy his hair had caught fire and I was just being a good samaritan and putting it out.

John's eyes changed a little after that night.

Again, please sign my guestbook and vote on my Halloween costume: Ninja, Gabby from Xena, medieval bar wench or ???

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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