Paranoia, not Jonas Brothers Related.
2009-06-26 12:37 a.m.

Here's the situation. I am out of Diet Coke and there are a few 24 hour quickie Mart's within driving range. I just went outside to take out my garbage and I'm complaining to myself about really nothing, oh my neighbor took out my yard debris (I let him use my can because I hardly ever use it an he's a landscaper) but he didn't touch my smelly garbage can. So I haul the can out talking to myself and suddenly see this burst of fire across the street. Some homeless person is squatting on the sidewalk. I don't really know if he's homeless. He might be the popparazzi or someone wanting my recycling. Still. Freaked me the hell out. So how badly do I want to go get my diet coke? Will the Quickie Mart guy be freaked out if I come in wearing my ninja outfit and carrying a sword? Maybe I could leave my sword in the car. *peek!* He's still out there! WTF!?

UPDATE: My constant paranoid peeking out the window that's fooling no one has paid off. He's started rolling down the road. And by rolling I mean his motorized wheelchair equipped with recyclable gathering capabilities. Unless he has some missile launchers on there, I can totally take him. Will be back with caffeine soon.

3 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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