Mmmmm, humbugs.
2004-12-16 1:53 p.m.
I�m sitting at my desk trying to figure out how I�m going to fit two weeks worth of work into the four days I�m going to be enslaved here until January. Don�t get me wrong, I�m excited about spending less time in my cubicle. It�s just that I�ve got this work stuff that needs to get done. I tell myself that if I�m really really efficient, I can get it all completed. I�m smart. I�m an animal. I can do this job with my eyes closed. Yes, I�m a smart blind insurance animal. Then I walk away from my desk and do some Christmas shopping, because it needs to be done and because I haven�t taken a real lunch break since 1997.
Now I�m back, staring at the stacks of paperwork trying to figure out if there�s anything I can tie up before the Team Bonding Christmas Lunch and Holiday Ornament Exchange Extravaganza which starts in less than an hour. I have the urge to go shopping again.
I don�t really like the ornament exchange. I never participate which makes me look like some sort of pouty blonde scrooge, but I don�t do the tree thing. What the hell am I going to do with an ornament? I love Christmas trees. They make me feel all happy and gooey inside and remind me of when I was a kid and Christmas was the best thing ever invented.
Once I moved to Portland in '93 I tried to do the tree thing one year and I realized just how fricking pathetic it was: a single girl in a dismal cockroach infested apartment, trying to relive her childhood by having a cheap-ass craptacular Christmas tree. It was horribly depressing. I decided at that very moment I wasn�t going to get another Christmas tree until I had children. Christmas is for kids and until I have my own, I�ll live vicariously through other people�s families or just go to my parent�s and pretend I�m a surly teenager again and drink wine while staring at all the pretty lights.
This message is brought to you by the Discovery Channel.
2004-12-16 1:08 p.m.
I walked over to the Discovery Channel Store and bout my cats a "discovery pets hyper mouse" toy.
They will either love it or be totally scared of it and will hide under the bed until I put it away.
I'm blogging this.
2004-12-15 3:55 p.m.
I nearly had a nervous breakdown today when I looked at the calendar. Did any of you know that it's almost Christmas? I guess I've been under some sort of delusion that it was still December 1st. Holy crap! I have bought zero gifts.
In a complete panic I ran over to L'Occitane and got some loot for mum and my aunt. Then I tried to find Half Life 2 for the Mac for my brother, but the bastards cute elfs that run the gaming store at Pioneer Place don't carry Mac games. ?! C'mon Macs are taking over the entire world!
So I came back to my desk and breathed into a paperbag for awhile until it hit me. Like a ton of mayonaise. Brother = Uber Geek = ThinkGeek.com. So my bro got some hysterical t-shirts, a USB Christmas tree and a silly LED desk game.
That only leaves me with a Dad, Grandma and a helluva lot of Christmas CDs to burn for my friends. I'm feeling slightly better. Plus, had to do some shopping therapy. I bought myself a t-shirt at thinkgeek that say "I'm Blogging This." If that's not a guy magnet I don't know what is.
5 People have tried to sell me ViagraIf you're not receiving enough spam already.
2004-12-14 2:13 p.m.
Does anyone not have a GMail account? Do you want one? I have a few invites left. Send me your e-mail and I'll hook you up.
2 People have tried to sell me ViagraI wanna be a mule!
2004-12-14 12:50 p.m.
I get some weird spam but I think this is the strangest I have received in a long time. Do you think ram horns is street for heroin?
Hi,
We are looking to source dried hollow ram horns. Our client wishes to import about 1000 kgs of dried ram horns per month.
The weight is to be between 450 and 800 grammes per horn. They must be cleaned, dried and hollowed out ( meat in horn cleaned ).
If you can supply, please quote the price CNF Singapore for 1 tonne,
sending also a file image if possible.
Best Regards
Alan B. Stables
Iberstruz sl
Calle Herreros 2 � P
Pol. Ind. Miralrio
28891 Velilla de San Antonio (Madrid)
Spain
Tel: +34-91-660 86 99
Fax: +34-91-660 80 95
Email: [email protected]
Archiving, damn you Stretchin' Gretchen.
2004-12-14 10:27 a.m.
I spent five hours last night archiving things on my computer. I typed in another ten pages of the novel I wrote when I was a senior in high school. I�m actually impressed at how much better my writing skills are from the one I did in 10th grade. Then I went through some old folders of miscellaneous crap. Some of the crap is pretty funny, like this comic I did about dating in 1990. I�m amazed at how much hasn�t changed, except I�m not quite as cynical about intimacy, but Bush is still a fascist pig. While going through the other stuff I found very sweet, sometimes surreal, but always heart felt notes from friends. I�ve scanned them all into .jpg files and am working on a love letters project. I also stumbled across the Anarchist Alec comic strip which includes the merciless head shaving of Stretchin� Gretchen.
You see Stretchin� Gretchen (use your imagination to figure out the nickname) got me banned from my friend Jeff�s bedroom when I was a senior in high school. Whenever I came over to visit Jeff we had to sit in �the dead room� which was a formal sitting room in the house that no one ever used. See, SG called Jeff�s parents and told them that we were sleeping together, which was a complete lie. I didn�t get any action from anyone until I was 19. So I took my revenge out on her in comic strip form.
Have a happy whatever.
2004-12-13 11:43 a.m.
I�ve been listening to Christmas music on my iPod today. Not because I love Christmas music, but because I�m putting together a mix CD for holiday prezzies. I�m calling it "A Pop Rock Alt Indie Punk Christmas" because it�s a chaotic mish-mash of semi traditional music. I like the songs I picked I just need to tweak the order so they flow better.
In other news, I broke down and decided to send out non traditional Christmas cards this year. It all started when my nice friends began mailing me cards. Darn you. I found a really old postcard of Timberline Lodge circa 1955. I�m going to scan it and put in a quirky fill in the blank Christmas card under it. Not exactly Jesusey heartfelt but I hope it makes people laugh. I was going to come up with a fake "holiday newsletter" explaining how I was at the Lodge getting hammered with the Rat Pack and fill it with juicy gossipy tid bits from the 50s but I didn�t think anyone would get it.
My ankle is still swollen and purple. I�m hobbling around the office. Chairs with wheels are a good thing.
And in case you�re not feeling festive enough�click here.
