Doofiness.
2006-01-08 8:01 p.m.
I have sucessfully spent my entire weekend in bed stoned out of my freaking gourd. Being sick sucks. This is the first time that I really felt like my body was out of my control. Okay, the third time. The double facial paralysis thing was extremely freaky as well. The prednisone has decreased the swelling in my joints and the pain medication has made me functional, if not a little doofy. (Doofy is a combination between feeling goofy and acting like a doofus.) I can actually use my left hand to grab things, write and type. The cats have been taking shifts sleeping with me. I'll fall asleep with one of them under the covers and wake up a couple of hours later with a different one snuggled against my belly.
I got a lot of books for Christmas and have been slowly plodding through a few of them. I enjoyed Karen Duffy's book Model Patient : My Life As an Incurable Wise-Ass about her experience with sarcoidosis. She had it in her central nervous system, which is pretty scary. I'm also in the middle of another Mary Russell mystery and an ethnography on geisha. If I couldn't read I think I'd go insane. (insaner)
1 People have tried to sell me ViagraYou need steroids.
2006-01-06 10:02 a.m.
I went to see my rheumatologist yesterday. It was the first office visit I've had where I didn't have to strip down to my skivvies and wear one of those cute little slips. It seems that the tissue in my hands, wrists, jaw and ankles is swelling which is squeezing on the nerves causing incredible amounts of pain. "I want you to shoot a 100% solution of morphine directly into my spine." I say calmly. Instead he offers me a new, better, bigger pain pill and more steroids. Their answer to everything is steroids. I have pain in my joints "You need steroids" My appetite is bad and I'm nauseaous "You need steroids" I want to take three seconds off my downhill skiing time trials for the winter Olympics. "You need steroids." He also gave me some information on Methotrexate. A "disease arresting drug" also known as chemotherapy. "Won't this make my hair fall out?" I'm already obsessed about the state of my follicles. I have a purple wig but it itches. "It caaannnn," the doctor drawls. There's a fine line between medicating me into remission and letting me keep my already withering looks. We'll see if the increase amount of 'roids works first. In the meantime I'll leave a bobby pin and a can of Big Sexy Hair on the altar of St. FiFi, patron saint of blondes in sportscars.
3 People have tried to sell me ViagraMy friends are nerds.
2006-01-05 10:41 a.m.
I gave my friend Rebecca some HTTPanties that said "403 Forbidden" on them for Christmas. Her boyfriend immediately says "What, they were out of 200 OK?" Heh heh. I don't get it.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraArrr-omatherapy.
2006-01-03 10:10 p.m.
When I moved into my house the previous owner left an automatic nightlight in the kitchen. It was pretty handy because to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night you have to walk through the kitchen. Actually, to get to the bathroom at any time you have to walk through the kitchen. The point is, I liked being able to see where I was walking. When it burnt out I just stumbled along in the dark and occasionally ran into the counter or doorway. Last month I discovered the joy of the Glade Nightlight. My brother even commented on it during Thanksgiving. Guess what he got for Christmas? So I ran out of the Fresh Linen scent and bought a refill container of something called Hawaiian Breeze. Normally I don't like artificial scents but the Glade scents are pretty clean and crisp. However, now every time I walk into the kitchen I have the uncontrollable desire to drink rum. I'm like a pirate who can't wait to go on a bender. Apparantly Hawaiian Breeze is the exact same scent as my favorite fru fru drink, The Painkiller. Yum. Arrr.
1 People have tried to sell me ViagraDIY - KFK Style
2006-01-02 9:21 p.m.
DIY
Originally uploaded by Kungfukitten.
I missed my Christmas hair appointment with my stylist and was in desperate need of a cut and color. I'm so terrified of their new snippy gay receptionist that I recklessly decided to do it myself. I went to the supermarket and got a box of dye and highlights and went nuts. Next I attacked my hair with the scissors for some long swing bangs and layers. I think it turned out all right - don't worry, I'm not going to quit my day job. I sort of look like Lindsey Lohan's mother. I would say sister but let's be honest, I'm old enough to be her mother. In fact, I may actually be her mother. A lot of the late eighties are a blur to me.
4 People have tried to sell me ViagraHippy Nude Year
2006-01-01 12:08 a.m.
Happy New Year! It�s kind of lame but I�m curled up on the couch by myself watching an episode of House. The neighborhood sounds like Falluja as my neighbors blow up M80s, Molotov cocktails and random sticks of dynamite. I�m not sure why Americans have to blow crap up in order to celebrate a holiday. Frankly, I�m surprised that on Christmas eve families around the nation don�t pull their Christmas trees outside and blow it to smithereens in order to celebrate the birth of Jebus. I opened my last bottle of wine (my friends and family are lushes) and it happened to be a sparkly white wine (Marco Negro, Mascato D�Asti). It�s nice but a little sweet for me, I prefer my sparklies to be on the dry side but whatever, this will do. Simon left a cigar in the freezer (what, two years ago?) and I�m considering sitting on the porch smoking and drinking while I watch the neighborhood go up in flames.
My only New Year�s resolution this year is to not get fat from steroids and to get healthy again. I�m so tired of being an invalid. All I do is watch Tivo and read books. Don�t get me wrong, that�s a really good time in my book, but I�m lacking human contact. I need to get laid, but more than that I want some companionship. Having my friend James here reinforced that. It was nice having someone to bug in the middle of the night when the nerve pain in my ankles was killing me. It was funner to giggle and tell jokes rather than cry as we waited for the narcotics to ease through my system. I need to get better and get a companion. That�s what I want for 2006.