Google cats & pit fighting
2002-01-16 8:03 a.m.

I had a dream last night that my cats were getting google hits. I could pick them up and look and their tummies and see what key words people were using to look them up on the internet. Trinity was getting hits for being "soft & fuzzy" and Loki was getting hits for "extreme jumping." I think I'm spending a little too much time on the internet.

Guess who's going to a pit fight? Me! No, I'm not competing. You couldn't pay me enough to get into a cage and try to kill another human being. But that doesn't mean I don't want to watch other people do that. It's a UFC type fight and there are plenty of rules to avoid death or permanent disfigurement. A guy from Simon's school is competing. They call this guy "Monster." I met Monster once. I walked into the gym with Simon and some guy leaned down from the boxing ring and tried handing me a pair of boxing gloves. Sure, I could have used my mystical kung fu powers to kick his ass but that would have been rude. OK, he would have killed me but he was just joking anyway. Monster is very tall and has .03% bodyfat. Simon was once hit by Monster and he went blind and drooled uncontrollably for three days. I'm looking forward to seeing how he does in the ring.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

Previous | Next