Spewing hate where ever they went.
2007-04-27 1:57 a.m.

High Lights 63/365Tonight's highlighting adventure didn't go as well as I hoped. The kit I used turned the strands almost platinum blonde and I didn't get it as close to the roots as I should have. In fact, I have a nice circular pattern of dark blonde/brown hair at the back of my head that looks pretty crappy. I keep telling myself it could have been worse. I'm not exactly sure how, but I'm certain I've fucked up my hair much worse in the past. It's probably time to go back to getting my hair professionally cut and colored.

So on my way home tonight I got stuck behind this butt ugly chevy truck that was spray painted navy blue and jacked up four feet on those ridiculously large tires. All the way up the street these morons were screaming out their window at people. I couldn't hear what they were screaming, but I could tell from the horrified looks on the women's faces and the really pissed off expressions on the men's that it was something quite offensive. They may have been tailoring their obsenities for each individual, but I really don't think they were that smart. At first I thought their wrath was directed only at people standing at bus stops. Perhaps they have something against saving the environment I thought, or maybe they don't like cars bigger than theirs. Sort of a penis envy thing. Then they shouted things at the two natural food stores which confused me. Maybe they just hate vegetarians, but how did they know the people at the bus stop were vegetarians? Then it became clear that they were just harassing anyone they could get to look at them: construction workers, the homeless, stoned out hippy dudes, nice looking young couples, pregnant women, no one was safe from their wrath. I knew it was only a matter of time before some big burly guy walked up to the truck and pulled the skinny foul mouthed freak out the window and beat him senseless. I even had my digital camera sitting on my lap just waiting for it to happen. One guy walked up to them, but it turned into a battle of the middle fingers. Bummer. I really really really wanted to see these fucktards get their comeuppance. When I finally turned and let the raging bitchheads continue without me riding their ass, I fantasized about them getting beaten within an inch of their life. And this blissful calm overcame me as I felt the universe tip back into balance. Does that make me a bad person?

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Half naked and submerged in water.
2007-04-26 12:15 p.m.

Windowsill Feet 58/365I saw my pulmonologist yesterday. He told me my lungs rocked and there's no evidence of sarcoid in them. That made me quite happy. He told me I looked cute with my glasses on. I'm still not happy about giving up my contact lenses. Then he told me to get my ass in the pool and start swimming. It seems that everyone wants me half naked and submerged in water. I wish that was as exciting as the last sentence made it sound. I've got a bathing suit and some prescription goggles so I can see underwater. The only thing holding me back is just scoping out the pool and figuring out the cost and the schedule. Hmmm, I wonder if they have it listed online. *googles* Hi, I'm back. It costs $3.75 and lap swim goes on all the time. Cool. They also have a 102 degree whirlpool. I be my joints and back would like that alot. Okay, I'm a little more excited about this. I'm also a little afraid. I haven't swam laps since 1989 when I was lifeguarding at a Boys and Girls club over the summer. That was a long time ago. What if I've forgotten how to swim? Or worse yet, what if I look like a drowning narwahl when I do swim? I think that would be much worse. Well, I guess it would depend on who was around to give me mouth to mouth.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Forced humor, slackerville and subtitles.
2007-04-25 1:31 a.m.

I Love New Products 61/365On Sunday night Rebecca and went and saw David Sedaris on Sunday night. I've never seen him speak before and it was quite enjoyable. It was a huge venue and the crowd was a little strange. It seemed they felt obligated to laugh at everything. Granted he's a very funny guy, but he made a couple of flippant political remarks that I thought were kind of trite and there was this enourmous forced laughter, like they felt they had to laugh or they'd be forced to turn in their ACLU membership cards on the way out. It wasn't that I didn't agree with his comments, it's just that taking potshots at the administration is so easy that it isn't funny anymore. David Sedaris' humor is all about cleverly turned phrases, I say leave the political humor to Colbert and Stewart. I'm probably thinking about this entirely too much, but it felt like when you tell a joke at a party and you know the guy that's laughing the loudest and repeating the punch line really didn't get the joke.

I must apologize for slacking in the blogosphere. I've been caught up on my photo project and dealing with medical crap. We still haven't gotten my meds balanced out correctly and it feels like all I do is go from one HMO office to another. Tomorrow I get to go and see my pulmonologist and see how I did on my pulmonary function tests. I think I did fine, meaning I don't think I've lost any lung function. That would be rad because it would be one bodily system that wasn't screwed up.

This weekend Tivo was kind enough to tape House of Flying Daggers (Shi Mian Mai Fu) for me. Oh my gosh - no one is who they seem in that film! From the womanizing police officer to the blind kung fu fighting prostitute dancer. There were some amazingly beautiful scenes in it, snow, bamboo, fields of flowers, deep woods and tumbling rivers. With a large amount of violence and a little sex. I won't even try to explain the plot. If you liked Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon you'll probably like this. I believe it had subtitles, I generally get involved so quickly, I forget I'm reading them. It's late, I should get some sleep.

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