Just your average Sunday update.
2004-07-25 8:39 a.m.
First I'd like to send out some kudos to my buddy KungfuRamone who sent me a bitchen' CD mix for my birthday which I've been listening to every morning when I get ready for my day (and the Probot song insn't too scary).
Second of all, I'd like to thank the weather gods for making my house a balmy 83 degrees this morning after a hellish night of 92 degrees. I think I only got four hours of sleep and now I'm suppose to go meditate?!
I chased some strange man out of my yard last night. He was suprised that I caught him and then after some stammering came up with a story about wanting to earn money to catch the bus home to Beaverton. I didn't buy it as I saw him earlier that morning, drunk, stumbling around the neighborhood. It was too fricking hot to lock up the house so I kept the front door open with the screen locked and a three foot long metal kubaton at my side on the couch. I could be across the room in a split second bashing heads if I needed to. Sigh. Maybe someday I'll be able to afford to live in a safe neighborhood.
Rebecca has agreed to work on a top secret project with me. Of course, I'm not going to bother her with the details until the Soapbox Derby is over. More on this as it develops.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraVengeful librarians of the world unite.
2004-07-24 3:24 p.m.
I'm in the middle of a three day meditation seminar. When all is said and done it will be over ten hours of meditation and healing. With that said, all this meditation today has wiped me out and left me a major headache.
It's one hundred fucking degrees in Portland. Every year I get heat stroke. This time I'm trying to maintain appropriate body temperature by taking lots of cool baths, drinking ice water and lounging on the couch with an ice pack behind my neck and lower back.
I've been continuing to rework the novel so it will be ready for the WW conference. The more I work on it, the more I like it. Let's hear it for vengeful librarians!
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraBeery goodness and no squirrels were harmed.
2004-07-22 10:03 a.m.
Have I mentioned lately how much my body hates me? My stomach, ribs, low back, legs and both shoulders hurt. I think it�s primarily muscular. I�d take a handful of ibuprofen but I�m afraid I�d end up falling asleep at my desk.
You see, I went to improv last night and after imrpov there is always beery goodness which is fun but I end up not getting home until after midnight and then it takes me another hour to freeze my body in an ice cold bath so I can sleep in my sweltering house. Actually the reading in a cold bath has become a nice ritual. I�ve been reading about Lord Byron�s lascivious sex life and the cold water neutralizes my own out of control urges so I can concentrate on the text.
If you�re not doing anything next Friday you should watch my friend Adam and his troupe Kick the Squirrel perform. Adam assured me that no squirrels will actually be harmed on stage.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraWhat a hoot.
2004-07-21 1:56 p.m.
The results from the 2004 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest are in and boy are they funny!
I think my favorite is from the detective fiction parody category: "The knife handle jutted from her chest like one of the plastic pop-up timers in a frozen turkey, but from the blood pooling around the wound, it was apparent that this bird wasn't done."
And from the dishonorable mentions: "Keith's popularity as the first openly gay daredevil was rising quickly; in fact, it was said he ate danger for breakfast, followed by a light brunch of lemon scones, quiche, and the occasional Mimosa, and then he was back to eating danger."
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraIt's only a flesh wound.
2004-07-21 9:39 a.m.
I went back to kung fu class last night after taking time off to heal my rib and lower back from the infamous spring cleaning incident. The only time my rib actually ached was during an exercise where we were jumping over air shields set up on their sides (knock one over and it�s five knuckle push ups). After class Lance kindly offered to punch me really hard to see if the rib was actually healed or not. Last night�s class was basically a conditioning class, not the easiest thing to come back to when you�ve been off your feet for awhile. I did achieve my two goals: 1) I did not opt out of any of the exercises due to pain or fatigue and 2) I remained conscious during the entire class. Go me!
5 People have tried to sell me ViagraSuch a dork.
2004-07-20 9:20 a.m.
I was flipping through my notebook the other day and found something that I had written down in quotes: "My God, I bore even myself." I thought this was particularly profound and was trying to remember where I culled it from. Was it from Byron�s letters? His journals? Was it from Shelley? I finally broke down and googled it. The quote was from a Highlander episode. There goes my reputation as an intellectual.
1 People have tried to sell me ViagraAnd I thought my birthday was fun.
2004-07-19 2:50 p.m.
Nude Man Covered in Nacho Cheese Arrested
MARYVILLE, Tenn. - A man was arrested on his 23rd birthday after a police officer saw him nude and covered with nacho cheese from a pool snack bar.
Michael P. Monn was arrested early Sunday in the parking lot outside the pool.
An officer saw a nude man carrying a box of Frito Lay snacks and a container of nacho cheese run toward a Jeep in the lot and stopped him.
"The male had nacho cheese in his hair, on his face and on his shoulders," Maryville Police Department officer Scott Spicer reported. "The nude male had a strong odor of alcohol and was semi-incoherent."
Investigators said someone climbed an 8-foot fence, broke into the pool snack bar through a window, threw nacho cheese on a wall and scattered chips on the ground. About $40 in chips and $7 in nacho cheese were stolen.
Monn was charged with burglary, theft of less than $500, vandalism less than $500 and public intoxication and was cited for indecent exposure. He was being held at the Blount County Jail in lieu of a $9,300 bond.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraFalling backwards into you.
2004-07-19 12:02 p.m.
I�m actually surprised that I only had two hundred e-mails to go through when I got back today and zero voicemails. Not too shabby for not being here half the month. A lot has happened. I got older and threw a big soiree. I went on a northwest tour and rode some ferry boats.
Now I�m home and trying to remember what it�s like to hold down a full time job in a cubicle. It�s not as much fun as I remembered it, although I do enjoy the getting paid part. But alas, I�m on a strict budget until the end of the month. My unhealthy addiction to eye shadow has gotten me into some financial trouble. I�m afraid if I don�t show some control my friends are going to organize some sort of Stila eye shadow intervention and take away my cosmetics.
Before I left town I went to see my Curandismo. It appears I have been sneaking back to my origins, looking for the young KFK and rekindling my passion for writing, dreaming and imaginary friends. When I should have been spending my time working on my current manuscript I found myself digging through piles and piles (we�re talking one filing cabinet and one small bookcase) of old manuscripts and notebooks.
I found a space opera I wrote around 1995. I shelved it when I was done writing it because I didn�t think the plot held together. I reread it from beginning and to end and think it�s fantastic. I remember feeling so lonely when I wrote it and you can feel that loneliness and isolation in the sub-current of the text but it�s a fantastic story and my heroine comes out loved and respected in the end.
Then I delved back even further to when I was sixteen. I wrote a novella about a shar-pei smuggling ring in Seattle�s China Town. One of my characters was an exchange student from Columbia who spoke broken English. Quite a feat for a young writer but I pulled it off all right. You can tell it�s not seasoned writing but it�s typical KFK � action, adventure, love and a completely fearless heroine. I�m thinking about fixing the typos and formatting and throwing online for kicks.
0 People have tried to sell me Viagra