Promoted!

2003-04-06 1:04 p.m.

It's official, Kungfukitten is now a purple sash. This means I am now an advanced intermediate student. Hurrah. Pictures and all the gory details will be posted on Monday. Stay tuned.

Damn spam. The bane of my inbox.

2003-04-04 3:59 p.m.

[tirade] I'm so tired of getting a dozen e-mails a day asking if I'm unsatisfied with the size of my penis. First of all, why do they automatically assume I have one? Second of all, why do they assume that I'm not happy with the size of it. I'm also tired of all the e-mails I get offering me viagra at low low prices without a doctors visit. Again, people, I don't have a penis. I don't want your stinkin' viagra. I also don't want to give a Nigerian banker my bank account numbers, I don't want to lose wieght while I sleep (Ok, I do, but I don't believe your stupid product works), I don't want to see you do disgusting things with farm animals on your webcam, I don't want to correspond with a lonely russian lady, I don't want to buy ink jet cartridge refills from you and I don't want free access to your porn site. You harvested my e-mail from diaryland, why do you think I'm over the age of 18? I'm tired of deleting your stupid e-mails with misleading subject lines. [/end tirade]

An encounter with Homeland Security.

2003-04-03 4:02 p.m.

Oh, I lied. Something interesting did happen over the weekend. We had to drop off a friend at the airport, I was driving Simon's car as he was feeling more under the weather than I was plus it's hard to take three people and luggage to the airport in a miata. We got "randomly" selected by Homeland Security to pull over prior to the airport terminal. They read us our rights and then proceeded to ask us if they could look in the trunk. First of all, Simon's car is rather unique. Aside from the eight inches of convenience store garbage and yahoo maps that I try to dispose of every chance I get, his car is filled with enough surivival equipment so a family of four could survive a harsh winter along the Oregon trail. I turn to Simon and say "So, can they check your trunk?" Simon starts panicking and says. "Uh, uh, uh, I've got a hatchet back there for camping and a machete and there might be some knives (seven that I know of) back there�is that a problem?" The Homeland Security guy says "No, we're just looking for explosives." Simon says. "Oh, okay, we've got no explosives." I pop the trunk and the Homeland Security guy barely looks, I imagine he was afraid that there'd be rats in the back underneath all that crap, and ushers us on our merry way. With a brief search as that, they must be looking only for cars with their trunks filled entirely with explosives.

Green, yellow and red. Don't ask.

2003-04-03 3:53 p.m.

I haven't had anything interesting to write about lately because I've been sick. I've been sick, lying on the couch taking my antibiotics like a good girl. Frankly, there was nothing really interesting to write about except for catalogueing the varying colors of phleghm that my body was producing. I figured most people wouldn't want to read about that.

Big kung fu test in on Saturday. I'm going in tonight to clean the school to sparkling perfection. Tomorrow I need to purchase Sifu snacks. Probably some cookies from Paradise Bakery. I am much too lazy to mix ingreedients on my own and operate an oven.

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