Croc Hunter visits Kung Fu Kitten

2001-10-17 8:04 a.m.

I have a cold. I don't think it's anthrax but you can't be too sure. I don't have a temperature, in fact according to the thermometer I am reptilian. Perhaps I am part cluster lizard, which reminds me of my dream last night.

I was working at my desk and all of a sudden the crocodile hunter guy is peeking over the side of my cubicle. He's pulling apart the branches of my potted plants and observing me at work. There's a camera crew behind him with cameras, lights and microphones.

I can hear him talking although I'm trying to ignore him and get on with my work.

"Wow, folks *excuse my crappy Australian accent* we've got a right angry Sheila 'ere! Observe her natural habitat, empty diet coke bottles, uneaten fruit and protein bars everywhere! OK, I'm ready to go in."

He rubs his hands together then jumps over the cubicle wall and grabs me in a bear hug.

Me: "What the *beep* are you doing! You *beepin* mother *beeper*! Get off me you Australian pervert!"

Croc Hunter: "The tranquilizer gun, 'and me the tranquilizer gun! Wow, this Sheila's feisty. Look at those claws!"

Me: "Those aren't claws! That's a $20 manicure you brute!"

Then I wake up an hour later in a conference room with a big red plastic tag on my ear.

I think that dream was a result of too much cable television and an overdose of Nyquil.

I'm beginning to hate those online personality tests. My robo personality is Al Gore. How lame is that? I have democratic leanings but this is ridiculous. I guess this would make me a democratic necrophiliac.

TV: I've been watching the reruns of Buffy the last couple of weeks and really enjoying them.

Book: Be a Goddess by Francesca De Grandis. Faery tradition wicca book set up as a safe new agey self help book, but still a nice read.

Music: Reading Writing & Arithmatic by the Sundays, an oldie but a goody.

Radio: Public radio, good news coverage but the pledge drives are incredibly annoying.

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