Say it, don't spray it:

Kung Fu-fightin' Magpie - 2005-03-08 12:20:15
You could just give "it" a name. Like Bob. You could write: she did such and such to Bob, Bob responded thusly, etc.

saru-san - 2005-03-08 12:20:57
I know a guy who likes to say, "Wanna see my dink?" But unless you're writing a comical romance novel (hmmm... new genre?) then I would avoid the use of "dink".

Lolita - 2005-03-08 12:56:44
Good luck with it! I'm sure it'll be great!

kristin - 2005-03-08 13:50:16
1) i totally wake up for an hour in the middle of the night to read (e.g. last night 3-4am). 2) cock is totally the way to go.

jfsuperstar - 2005-03-08 18:52:05
keep writing, and i agree...cock is the way to go. hearts and punches!

cingi - 2005-03-09 11:11:51
free consultation? ..you know my past teehee.

cherz - 2005-03-09 15:39:44
heh.. ten foot pole... (no pun intended)

aleta - 2005-03-09 17:31:32
well, it still sounds kinda cheezy when it comes to actually naming parts like "aching mound" and "member." personally i have to agree that cock is a good substitute, or else don't name it at all. also, i think you could do more with the interplay of pleasure/pain. when i read "it hurt at first but . . . " i wondered if the pain was a bad thing at that moment. anyway i don't think i ever told you that i read the whole thing in December when you posted it, and i found it to be a very enjoyable read. my reaction when i finished was "aww, it's over already?" maybe your next novel can be a sequel!

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