Everybody do the black out!
2005-07-28 9:34 p.m.
Ever since my doctors discovered that I could raise my blood pressure to 226/124 by a sheer force of will, they�ve put me on beta blockers. I�ve been diligently monitoring my pressure at home with my electronic blood pressure monitor and it�s been low. Way low. So low that I spent this week blacking out every time I stood up. Every. Freaking. Time. It was getting old and basically scaring the living crap out of me so I stopped taking my medication. After four days of being medication free, I�m hardly blacking out at all. In a couple of days I should be as good as new and able to do headstands and jump up and down without repercussion. I guess I�m one of those people that needs to be in the pre-hypertension range in order to remain conscious. Who knew? Since I couldn�t sit up or walk around very much I�ve been forcing my coworkers to bring me files at home so I can work horizontally on my couch. I hate missing work, it makes me feel like a total loser. But I really don�t want my coworkers calling 911 every time I stumble and hit the floor. (Memo to self: wear longer skirts and new panties next week.) Actually what I�m really terrified about is the small group of people that have been trained on the AED machine. I don�t want coworkers cutting off my clothes, baring the twins and defibrillating my heart unless they�re absolutely certain that it has actually stopped beating. Call me crazy but I don�t want my nice clothes destroyed unless it�s necessary.
3 People have tried to sell me Viagra