My lunch date with Beth

2001-11-29 8:33 a.m.

I got stood up for a lunch date on Tuesday with my friend Beth. A coworker of hers called me and told me she broke her arm. Poor girl. All that just to get out of eating lunch with me.

Beth is one of my favorite people to go to lunch with. We always have a good time and usually strange nearly supernatural things happen to us. Take last time for instance.

It was fairly warm and nice out with the sun peeking through the clouds giving us a false sense of security. We hopped a bus down to Burnside and went to Chang's Mongolian grill. It's one of those places where you walk through the buffet and pick out all the fresh veggies, thawing meats and spicy sauces you want then hand them to a non-Mongolian looking dude who fries it all up on a giant flaming tin drum. They make a big show of setting stuff on fire and throwing your food in the air before catching it on a plate. Then you tip them a buck and dump a bunch of seasame seeds ontop and call it lunch.

We had finished eating and were waddling out of the restaurant and decided it was so nice outside that we would walk back to the office.

Then the heavens opened up, God said to Noah "Build an Ark!" and it rained like I've never seen it rain before.

We ran from awning to awning, doorway to doorway but things were getting worse. My rayon dress was clinging to my body like a drunk frat boy and Beth's white silky shirt was going to get her first place in the Panty Shack's Friday night wet t-shirt contest. We raced across one street, against the light, and when we got to the otherside my heel hit a slippery spot and I completely bowled over an elderly Asian couple. Both of them were about half my size but were still determined to try to lift my fat ass off the flooding pavement. We made sure that they were all right (I think their blow was cushioned by landing ontop of me) and we ran across the street to Ross Dress for Less. I bought: a dress, pair of panties, pantyhose and umbrella. We changed in the dressing rooms and paid for our new outfits with the tags.

People on my team seemed confused to see me in a totally new outfit with soaking wet hair and mascara raccoon eyes.

I can't wait to see what happens when we finally can go out to lunch again.

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