Writing and morning surprises.
2007-04-06 12:39 a.m.

Like a Knife Through the Heart 7/365I've decided to put my three NaNoWriMo novels online for people to read. Right now Athena is being my editor for my first one. I could really use someone giveing it a good once over and fixing the little things I can no longer see like passive voice, repetivite words and disappearing objects and stuff like that. I'm kind of excited to throw this stuff out into cyberspace. I'll also be putting a Pay Pal donation box on the page with each novel so people can make donations if they like what they read. I incurred about 5k in medical bills last year and I really need to start paying off all that crap. I will also be actively seeking an agent. I've got three lined up and I'll hit them one after another (they get cranky when you do simultaneous submissions). So throw some mojo my way and send me virtual vampire good luck bites. On another creative note, I can't believe I've already taken 42 daily self-portraits already. Although I don't know anything about photography I'm having a lot of fun and have come up with some pretty fun shots. I've done a few suggestive photos, nothing I consider at all racy, but I'm a little freaked out at some of the people I'm attracting. On Flickr you get a message telling you who has marked you as a favorite and suggests you look at their photostream. Most people have pretty pictures of nature scenes. Others have cutesy pictures of their pets or kids. It was the full figured guy in his wife's underwear that nearly had me spitting coffee all over my computer screen. I mean I think you should do whatever makes you happy, I just wasn't at all prepared for it. Oh well. Whatever floats your boat. At least his bra and panties matched.

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Camp Seymour Alumni.
2007-04-04 11:34 p.m.

Cathead 41/365One of the great things about being an adult is you can do whatever you want. There is something I have always coveted that was shunned in my household growing up. All my friends had blue toilet water and we never did. I suppose it was because we had a dog and dogs like to stick their heads in a toilet bowl ever single chance they get. Since my cats have no interest in the toilet and I'm an obsessive compulsive lid putter downer, I thought perhaps I could fulfill my life long dream of having blue toilet water. I purchased a hockey puck sized disc at the grocery store and read the instructions. It's pretty easy, you drop it into the tank and wait ten minutes before you do the first flush. I waited in glee for ten minutes to go by and then flushed the toilet. Oh the joy! It was just as pretty as I imagined! It was like a bunch of blue sparkle fairies barfed in my toilet bowl. Then I was overwhelmed with nostalgia. The scent of the toilet water knocked me back twenty seven years to summer camp. I imagined my younger self running down the dirt stairs in my flip flops, clutching my toothbrush, soap and washcloth. The other girls at my side giggling and laughing as we washed our faces and brushed our teeth in the giant concrete bathroom. There was only cold water and our teeth chattered as we diligently scrubbed our tween faces. Our counselor was named Darci Buck. She kept a tin of miniature candies in her bunk and after lunch and dinner she'd walk around with her cache and allow us to choose two candies. I always picked a Krackle bar and a Reecees peanut butter cup. She would hug all of us and tell us she loved us (this was before it was taboo to touch a child). We thought she was the coolest thing ever and none of us felt homesick. Before the big dance she took time with all of us, making us look pretty. She put my hair in a pony tail on the side and let me wear two of her rubber bracelets. At the dance there was one really shy boy sitting off to the side. He was watching everyone do the Hustle (have I aged myself enough?) and Darci came over to me and my friends. She whispered how cool it would be if we all went over and asked him to dance. How great it would make him feel and what a wonderful memory it would be for him. See, Darci taught the dance class and she knew that he liked to dance but was too shy to do it on his own. We asked him to dance and he was so embarassed yet happy to have the attention of the girls from Cabin 12. The best part of camp was when you stayed multiple weeks, there would be that Sunday when there would be just a few kids who spanned the weeks and two counselores. We had the run of the camp and the kitchen. We could choose any cabin to sleep in. Once we chose to sleep in the dining hall in front of the fireplace. We made peanut butter sandwiches in the kitchen and broke into the "store" for granola bars, jerky and juice. When the counselors asked us what we wanted to do that night we all said the same thing, night swimming! We found the key to the pool and swam until midnight. The counselors took turns sitting in the lifeguard chair and goofing around in the water with us. Camp was the best time of my life. All that from a whiff of blue toilet water.

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When not to call someone.
2007-04-03 9:26 p.m.

Sephora or Bust 37/365I was sitting in the exam room waiting for my doctor to come in. I was naked under my robe as we were going to do my annual girlie exam. They've got these new really neat-o tables now. They're like gigantic vinyl barco loungers without the arms. They have a remote on the wall that makes the back go up and down, brings up the leg rest, shoots out the stirrups and I'm fairly certain it vibrates and shoots lazers, but I couldn't find the right combination of buttons for that. I was reclining myself and putting my feet up when I heard an annoying ditigal sound. I looked around the normally deathly silent room. What was that annoying noise?! It was my cellphone. "Heeelllllloooo?" It was my boss calling about work, could I call this customer back when I was done. Suuuuuure. We hung up. A few minutes later my doctor pokes her head in the room. "I'm running late. Just a couple more minutes!" "No problem!" I grab a three year old copy of Allure and smell the perfume page for Vera Wang's frangrance. *ring* *ring* "Okay, he said you can call him back in an hour, that's fine, but he's going to visit his wife in the hospital. He wants you to call his cell phone. Here's the number." I climbed off my Pan Galactic Barco Lounger and looked around. The doctor had left a pen on her counter but there was no paper. I opened up the cabinet. Mayber there was a maxipad I could write it on. I found a cache of tongue depressors and snagged one and wrote down the phone number. I hung up with my boss and tucked my tongue depressor/phone message into my purse. Now that's what I call telecommuting.

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Even my brain is celibate.
2007-04-02 5:05 p.m.

Secret MessagesI've had two dreams about Dr. House in the last two nights. This would be reason to celebrate but I'm a little peeved with my subconscious. The first dream we were in a parking garage and he was sitting, leaning against the concrete wall and I way lying with my head in his lap (facing upwards, mind you) and we were discussing chronic pain and nerve damage. Now, when my subconscious mind takes the time to dig up someone as dishy as Hugh Laurie, I expect some serious snogging, not just an intellectual conversation about medical conditions. WTF? If I'm not getting any action in real life I expect to get some in my dream life. In the second dream I was stressed out because I couldn't remember the combination to my bicycle lock, so I bribed some kids to watch my bike for me. I went into a large bookstore and House hid my backpack and wouldn't give it back to me until I typed up a paper for him that he was too lazy to write himself. Hello? What about some naughty sex in the stacks? At least give me a good make out session. Okay brain, I'm giving you one more chance: tonight, me, Hugh Laurie and someone better be shirtless (your choice). I expect some heavy breathing with some heavy petting. If you don't, I will be forced to start killing you slowly with beer.

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I pity the Fool.
2007-04-01 11:48 p.m.

The Victims Have Been Bled 38/365Today's group project for our self portraits was to take a picture as inspired by a song. Guess what I used? I couldn't help it, on Saturday I got my geisha wig and jug 'o blood in the mail. Yes, I have an entire jug of fake blood. I'm going to have all sorts of fun. While everyone is taking lovely spring time pictures I'm going to become angsty goth girl. Fun fun fun. The good thing is that I've become rather inspired to rewrite my NaNoWriMo novel. That and Dave showed up over the weekend. I always find it amusing when my vampire characters show up during a bright sunny day. They squint a lot and shield their eyes. Occassionally they wear sun glasses. Sometimes I wonder why I've haven't been comitted yet. I guess because I'm mostly harmless. Did anyone sign up for free wireless broadband with Google yesterday? For more April Fools, check out 12% Beer's April 1st page. We had a lot of fun. On an entirely different note, I think the chiropractor did the trick with my back. I'm seeing her again on Friday and then I'll just see her if it flares up again. Whoo hoo. Not that it's cured, but instead of the pain being a 10, I'm back to a 7 which as much as it sucks, I'm fairly used to. Lame but that's my life. I still think it's sarcoid related even if no one else does.

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