Lots of miscellaneous rambling.
2008-04-19 1:46 p.m.

It's almost two and I'm still tired. I knew the first week (half week) back to work was going to be hard but I didn't know it was going to be this difficult. I get home from work and crawl into bed early with the pretense that I'm just going to do my meditation and then maybe take a 30 minute power nap. Instead I fall into a deep sleep and wake a 3:00am because of a nightmare. I was in a strange world where everyone was out to get me. Normally, I'm not the paranoid kind but no one can call me paranoid if they really are out to get me. At one point my father was there and some guys were trying to mess with me and he was all heroic and badass and broke their hands and sent them on their way. Go dad! Later on I was at an ATM trying to get my money out because the bank manager was trying to transfer all my money away. While I was at the ATM, a girl shoved a needle in my arm and was siphoning all my blood away. Weirdness? Not very vampiric at all. Finally, another hero arrived inside the bank, Dr. Wilson (from House) stated the needle contaminated my blood and somehow transfered to my sister and this was proof enough to get the bank manager arrested. (I don't have a sister).

Now do you understand why I hate sleeping? I used to have a wonderful dream life. Now it's negative and complex. The down side? I'm still fucking tired and feel like the life really was siphoned out of me. *checks arms* Intact.

I watched Oprah yesterday and was really depressed hearing about all these women that hate their job. In fact 85% of the American population hates their job. I don't hate my job but it's not my calling. But where am I going to be paid for being witty and writing stories about sex fiend vampires?

One of my co-workers shared with me a memory she had of me when we worked in a focus group together. Apparently the head of our department, a very kind and quiet Japanese man was telling us how he got the skybox tickets to Britney Spears and was taking his daughter. Apparently, I said "Oh wow. So. Whatcha wearing?" Hilarity ensued. I wish I remembered my funny remarks as well as my co workers did. Their so off the cuff and instant that they don't stick in my mind. I wonder what he did wear...

5 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Return of David the Assassin
2008-04-18 3:22 p.m.

When I wake up in the middle of the night he's sitting at the end of the bed with his back resting against the wall.
"Where have you been?" I almost wail, a mixture of relief, anger and sadness coursing through each word.
He shrugs. "I've been around."
"I needed you."
"I know, I've been watching you."
"Why didn't you come earlier?"
He rests his chin on his hand, his elbow on his knee. He stares at me with those dark eyes of his as if he's trying to speak to me that way. Finally he sighs.
"What comfort could I possibly be? I'm a death dealer. I would have said and done the wrong thing."
"But you're here now," I sit up in bed and pull my knees to my chest.
"I'm here now," he confirms.
He peers at the stacks of books and the stuffed penguin covering the pillow next to me. "Where's your knife?"
I think for a minute. "It's in front of my altar."
His eyes narrow. "Haven't I taught you anything? You should keep it under your pillow at night."
"It's not very sharp anyways."
"Now I know what to get you for your birthday." he says.
"I do have an alarm system." I say.
"I got in." he parlays.
"You're a figment of my imagination." I counter.
Again I get the shrug and the smile. The smile that mesmerizes before it kills.
"Will you stay until daybreak?" I ask.
"Of course. Go back to sleep."
"Thanks, Dave."
I lay back down on my side and fall asleep faster than usual. As if someone was gently tapping on my mind.

3 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Ten reasons I'm glad to be back at work.
2008-04-16 4:45 p.m.

1) Money

2) Any time Boss tries to yell at me, I'll just start crying and he'll feel sorry for me and give me a raise instead of fire me.

3) The lady in the parking garage that tells me to have a blessed day every time I pay her.

4) Batman is having sex with the pig.

5) The guy I saw walking next to Sacs who put his finger against one nostril and shot snot ten feet down the sidewalk.

6) The girl with an Anarchist sign on the back of her sweatshirt and written on the back of her grey cords in black permanent marker "Exit Only."

7) The cute guy at the cash machine who asked me if I could break a 20 (couldn't, I only had 1s) and followed him around the building then watched him buy a bicycle off the back of a van and wheel it into the building. (The guy he bought it from had change).

8) The schitzophrenic guy on the street corner yelling "Is anyone listening!?" (I screamed out my window "I am!" as I drove by.)

9) People still don't recognize me with red hair.

10) No one has asked me if I cut my own hair. (I did, it looks hideous).

6 People have tried to sell me Viagra

Previous | Next