The Joy of being Barbie
2001-09-25 9:32 a.m.
I have to wear a badge at work to identify myself. Like I haven't worked her for six years and everyone already knows me. The portrait on my badge is really hideous. It looks like a prison intake picture of a heroine addict. Plus there's this strange phantom black spot on my face that looks like I've got a mole the size of an apricot or some sort of virulent skin cancer. I couldn't take it any more so I dug around in my desk for a suitable replacement picture. All I came up with was a picture of Barbie and Elvis. I didn't think I could get away with being Elvis (plus it's kind of sacriligeous) so I cut out Barbie's face and taped it over my picture on my security badge. She looks rather dapper in a fur lined hat and red taffeta dress with matching fur collar. So far no one has noticed my new badge. I don't know whether to be flattered or offended.
0 People have tried to sell me Viagra