Things I don't recommend doing number 156.
2004-05-01 2:22 a.m.

I was only planning on stopping by Bar of the Gods and having a couple of drinks so I could give Acronym his Damned birthday present (It was a Damned compilation CD). I had every intention of going home for an early night. I sure as hell wasn't planning on going to a five band punk show. I also wasn't planning on hanging out in a mosh pit for two of the bands -- in a slinky rayon skirt with high heeled sandals, but it was worth it. "The Epoxies" RULED and The Punk Group was sort of like Devo on Crack with a smaller budget. Uber silly and fun. Here's a picture of what my toes look like. A little worse than a sparring class but they'll be fine in a couple of days. Who needs to walk anyway?

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We could have had a good time.
2004-04-29 10:00 a.m.

My parents came into town unexpectantly last night so I met them out at Edgefield for dinner. At one point during the evening we lost my father so mom and I split up to look for him. That�s when I was approached by a Hell�s Angel from Vancouver. His name was Lee and he was trying damn hard to chat me up. My first thought was "Wow, he�s tall, tan and very muscular." My next thought was. "What on earth could we possibly talk about?" My third thought was. "If my mother sees me talking to him she�s going to have a freaking heart attack. Heh heh." We discussed wine and how pretty Edgefield was. He balked a bit when he found out I was there with my parents. "We could have had a good time girl, you and me." Were his parting words. Nice to know my mojo still works. Here�s a picture of the red door in the vegetable garden.

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We have lift off!
2004-04-28 12:11 p.m.

Five calls to customer care, three calls to tech support, numerous website visits and one long hour of standing around in the store while Denise of T-Mobile argued on the phone with tech support. We now have PICTURE PHONE! Here's a picture of last Friday's happy hour.

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Playing in the grass and the *$ Oracle.
2004-04-28 9:32 a.m.

The cats were getting cabin fever and exhibiting bad behavior so I let them into the backyard last night for some exercise. Earlier in the day my neighbor had hacked down most of the greenage with a couple of rusty machetes. It should get a nicer manicured treatment later this week. Then we�ll rip it all out and start over. Isn�t home improvement fun? Here�s some pictures of us playing in the yard.

Loki looking like the stealthy jungle cat he is. I love how the cheap blue tarp brightens his fur.

Trinity is trying to figure out a way to escape the confines of the yard. She�s also helping by mowing the yard with her own teeth.

The is a strange picture I tried to take of myself. All I can think of when I look at this picture is, I wonder how much botox treatments for my forehead would cost. All that angsty furrowing is catching up with me.

And just for fun! According to the Starbucks Oracle: You tell people that you're an executive at your company. You think that your repeated references to being "addicted" to caffeine make you seem intriguing and dangerous. People think you're a sucker because you spend 60% of your annual income at Starbucks. Everyone who drinks Grande Shot in the Dark ends up addicted to crack. Also drinks: Zima. Can also be found at: Karaoke bars.

Oh man, so true. So true. What does it say about your drink?

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Pimping for Disco.
2004-04-27 2:17 p.m.

I'm doing this so Disco will get me drunk next time I visit New York. Our very own Disco The Kid's band has made into the final round of a contest. Go here and vote for Public Domain. Vote early. Vote often. Even if you're a communist and hate rock music.

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Wackiness and landscaping.
2004-04-27 10:20 a.m.

Improv last night was funner than a bucket of squirrels. I stayed late for the jam session. That�s where things always get weird and funny. Primarily because everyone is tired, out of their head and everything seems so much funnier. I think we could have gone on until midnight but Betse had enough sense to kick us out at 10:15pm. I got some kudos from the instructor for being wacky and taking risks. I also came home sporting a cool new tattoo that one of the boys drew on my arm during a slow part of class. I took a picture of it with my stupid camera phone but am still having connection problems. With any luck I�ll be online sometime today and can post it. Of course, I said the same thing a month ago�Addendum: picture phone! Picture phone!!

I hired my neighbor, the lawn mower fairy, to come over and tame the jungle which is my back yard. Then we discussed Ground Forcing the entire thing and starting over. I�m thinking a nice patch of lawn in the center for croquet, badminton and kung fu practice. I also want some raised flower beds on the sides for meandering and kitty playing. Then I want to cover the concrete pad with a pergola and wrap it in lights for late night BBQs. I also want to add in a new water feature. The pond has turned into a mosquito farm or raccoon swimming pool. I�m thinking more of a fountain with water splashing on some large river rocks, much more feng shui-ey.

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When I was thirteen.
2004-04-26 12:01 p.m.

Things that I thought were super cool when I was 13:

Referring to everything as Bitchen or Awesome
Purple Nikes
Unicorns
John Stamos
Plum colored eye shadow
Menudo
Writing on my shoes
Open swim at the pool on Wednesdays
Sunburns
The Outsiders
Feathered hair
Black eyeliner that you had to heat with a lighter
String bikinis
Passing notes
Risky Business
Auqanet
Jeans that you had to lie on your back in order to zip up
Anything by Esprit or Benneton
Culture Club
Friendship safety pins
Penny loafers
Pantyhose
The A-Team (Dirk Benedict was totally bitchen!)

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More disgusting bus tales.
2004-04-26 9:33 a.m.

I got stuck sitting next to a woman on the bus who smelled like she was marinating in her own urine. Seriously, I don�t think she has bathed. Ever. I tried to sit on the edge of my seat and look for a way out, but the bus was standing room only and I couldn�t figure out how to extricate myself.

Then the fateful head bobbing started. She was falling asleep. I kept one eye steadfastly on her and my other on a tiny six inch wide space in the aisle. There was no way in hell I was going to let this women touch me. I don�t mind sharing the bus with miscreants but my personal space is a whole other matter. When she startled to slump violently towards me, I stealthily jumped into the aisle. The woman hit the seat and bounced onto the floor. Meanwhile, I made my way towards the doors. The polluted air of downtown has never smelled so good.

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