The Blackberry Bushes from Hell

2007-08-05 12:19 a.m.

The blackberry bushes in the backyard are threatening to eat my patio furniture. The part that sucks (aside from losing the barbecue) is that they aren't even my blackberry bushes. They've climbed over the fence from the neighbor's yard. Can I sue? Could I possibly guilt trip them into coming over, cutting them down and taking them back to their yard? I have a feeling that wouldn't work. When my mother asked me what I was going to do about them I told her I was going to move before they ate the house and make it the problem of the new home owners. I'm not kidding. I remember reading Tom Robbins Still Life with Woodpecker and totally believing in a future where blackberry bushes completely enveloped Seattle. That seemed entirely plausable to me. Despite my dislike of said evil bushes, I spent some time today in the backyard in my little sandals and shorts carefully picking blackberries. One for the bowl and one for my mouth. They're small berries but the little segments are fat and full of juice. They turned my fingers purple and I was flooded of childhood memories of walking down the street to Kay's "property" and the huge range of blackberry bushes that lined the street and how we'd pick blackberries for what felt like forever so my mom could make a blackberry pie. My mother makes the best pies. Her apple pie is so good. How good is it? Sorry, I've got nothing. Really. There should have been a really funny punch line there, instead I stared at the computer screen with my mouth hanging open and a really blank look on my face (I assume). Kitten out.

Pears, Tiki Torches and Fog Horn Memories.

2007-08-04 12:23 a.m.

I ran outside before it got dark to take some pictures. I really like how the one above turned out. It's neat how it focused on the pears and not me. You want to hear how much of a dork I am? I had to call my father and ask him how to turn on my solar lights. You'd think it'd be easy, no? No. You see I bought these Solar Tiki Torches they have a LED light inside that flickers like fire. Woooo! For the last two nights they've just been sitting in my front yard doing nothing. I call my dad and he tells me to pull out the little plastic tab that's blocking the battery connectors. Duh. Now they work and are flickering away outside like a warm fake fire. Uber cool. While I was on the phone with dad he told me a pod of whales were swimming by. "How many of them?" I asked. "I counted six." "What kind are they?" "I think they're pilot whales!" Oh how I miss the Puget Sound. I miss the whales, the otters, and what I miss the very most is waking up in the middle of the night in the fall and hearing the fog horns. Nothing makes me feel as safe and cozy as hearing a fog horn and knowing I can go back to sleep for a few more hours. Isn't that strange? We just don't get good fog here and when you have rivers you don't really need fog horns.

Drugs, cats and ink.

2007-08-02 11:03 p.m.

I went to the doctor today for an embarassing ailment. *looks around* When it got really hot out my boobies turned purple! Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. I got a little rash underneath the twins that's a funky purple red color. My doctor thinks it's just from the heat and it will probably go away on its own or I can rub some fun cream on it. At least I got to flash someone today. That's a plus, right? I also got some new migraine medication. Has anyone tried Maxalt before? I'm almost excited to get a migraine. It comes in these super cool purple containers with individually wrapped pills that dissolve instantly when you place it on your tongue. I'm most impressed with the purple containers. I want to put fun things in them. Like gummy bears or sequins or business cards! I really like containers. I'm not really sure why. In other news I found my cat in the crown picture!!! You know, the one I've been looking for the last four years for my tattoo!!! I'm thinking upper arm but I need to decide if I just want kitty in the crown or if I want to do a full coat of arms or maybe some stacked books below kitty and a scroll. So many decisions. I can't wait to come up with something and see my tattoo guy. Finally, I have something to do during my mid life crisis. I'll get a big ole color tattoo on my arm. Excellent.

Starter Wives Give a Sister Some Love

2007-08-02 1:57 a.m.

I've done some reflecting and I'm fairly certain I'm having a midlife crisis. The problem is I don't know how to go about having one correctly. I already have the sportscar and I did the 25 year old boyfriend thing. Okay he was twenty two. STFU. So I need to find some sort of inappropriate outlet for all these horrid emotions I'm experiencing. It's strange but society doesn't really have a place for me and there's no rite of passage for women who have missed out on marriage, children, the house, the cars, the IRA. I find myself identifying with the starter wives. I just read an article in Bazzar about a starter wife and how she dealt with it (well, her husband decided he wanted her back so really it was only a hiccup) and hung onto every word in the article. It made so much sense. I'm going through a grieving process and am desperately looking for someway to pull myself together. Nevermind being chronically ill. Oy. That's just another horrid strike against me but I'm kind of getting used to it. So basically I've been grieving and looking for ways to reaffirm that I'm cute and have something to offer society. I really need to get published so I have something to show for my life. I've decided to start update more here. Even if the entries are shorter I'm going to get back into the habit of daily updates. I really liked that and I know a few of you did too. ;)

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