Rialtos
2001-12-07 8:58 a.m.

My coffee tastes much stronger this morning. We have a new barista downstairs. Actually it's a guy, so would he be a baristo? I think he put one too many shots of espresso in my coffee this morning which might actually be a good thing. I fell asleep at my desk yesterday. I just put my head down for a second and when I woke up I jerked to an upright position and found a sticky note had gotten stuck in my hair. Classy. So my goal today is to stay awake through work and maybe get some stuff done.

I've been invited to go to Rialto's after work for happy hour. Rialto's is an interesting place. It's a bar, a restaurant, a pool hall and the only place you can bet on the horsies in downtown. It's perpetually filled with a thick marlboro fog and is a favorite hang out of pimps, hos, degenerates and my friends. The juke box never changes and has CDs from such bands as Echo & the Bunnymen, Mud Honey, Iggy Pop, Social Distortion, New Order and James Brown. During happy hour well drinks are $2. The waitresses are all young emo and surly but if you tip them a buck they'll magically materialize each time your drink is nearing empty and will call you things like "Sweetheart" and "Darling." After two gin & tonics I usually end up thinking I'm a god damn super hero with mystical kung fu skills. Which is why I usually drink beer.

Back in my early 20s I dated a bone fide pool shark. We spent an entire summer hanging out in pool halls where he taught me how to shoot stick and hustle money from drunk men. I got to be a pretty good pool player but like anything else if you don't use it, you lose it. My pool game can be mathematically predicted in bell curve fashion to the amount of beer I consume.

No beer: Ok pool.
1 beer: better pool.
2 beers: Shark! Shark!
3 beers: Getting sloppy.
4 beers: Was I stripes or solids?
5 beers: Rolling around on the felt cause it feels good.

I think I'll go easy and try to maintain shark status tonight.

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0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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