Quick camp summary.
2003-09-28 4:59 p.m.
I’m exhausted, battered and bruised but in good spirits. So much happened yesterday that I will try to sum up each class I took with one or two sentences.
Street Defense: Slip around them, wrap them up and get ‘em good.
Anatomy of Movement for Idiots: Bones, muscles and ligaments and how not to hurt them in training. Also, stretching feels good.
Take downs: Throwing people on the ground is fun. Getting kicked hard in the head isn’t. Ouch.
Lunch: Who knew Mexican food could suck so much. Who the hell puts chocolate chips in guacamole?
Self Defense and the Law: If you defend yourself and disarm the perpetrator, put the weapon out of site so the police don’t hurt you. Get a lawyer.
Creative Street Forms: Fight real people, fight invisible people then show off.
Wicked Mean and Nasty: Pinching, pressure points and sticking your finger up someone’s nose. Think I really hurt one guy’s elbow joint. Sorry.
Disvaluing the Physical: When people get stiff they are easier to control. When you get someone off balance it’s easy to tip them over.
Closing class: A series of moves to slip, control and hurt them.
Demo: Tai Chi to music is pretty. 80s inspired street fighting from our school was hysterical.
Dinner: Mediocre but after all that working out I would have eaten almost anything.
Total Bruise Count: 28. (any small bruises all grouped together were counted as one)2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
I like knives.
2003-09-26 2:17 p.m.
Last night at kung fu camp I went to five primary techniques which turned out being more like eight primary techniques. We drilled the same techniques over and over again and then went full speed on each other and then in a "monky line" where a bunch of people were "attacking" you. I was the lowest rank person in that class. I'd like to think I held my own but my adrenaline goes through the roof during anything high speed when people are coming at me.
Next class was the environmental weapons class where we practiced fighting against a knife attack with coats, bags, purses and keys.
Here I am being thwarted by a good bag swing.
I'm on the left, looking a little too devious with my wooden knife. Our beautiful white coats are the school gis.1 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Stealing other people's photos.
2003-09-25 3:17 p.m.
Hey, it's a picture of me at camp! I'm the one all the way in the back. It looks like I'm pushing against the green post. Actually the instructor on the left is reminding me to keep my hands out and away from my body.
No other pictures of me yet. There are a couple of pictures where I can identify my blonde ponytail but no good action shots yet. Just one really unattractive picture of me bowling. I'm not posting that one.0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Final bruise count will be posted at the end of the week.
2003-09-25 10:05 a.m.
Back at work today to send off a couple of letters and figure out which files I want to bring home to work on tomorrow morning. I'm drinking a venti double shot in the dark as I could barely drag my sorry ass out of bed this morning. Everything hurts: my joints, my growing bruise collection and the muscles all along my back.
Last night I went to Sparring Tips and Tricks. This was a top secret class for us lower sashes and the sashless (although we let a brown belt in with the promise not to use any tricks he learned against any of us!) We worked on footwork, fakes and throwing two techniques right after each other: high low or front back. Hit them in the face, when they raise their hands to block you nail them in the stomach. Easy right?
My favorite trick was throwing a side kick at someone's ribs a couple of times then throwing a fake side kick and bopping them on the head with a backfist. I even got the honor of playing dummy so the instructor could kick me in the ribs. Then I got kicked in the ribs by the brown belt. We were playing very light but I still managed to get bruised. I swear, you just look at me wrong and I'll form a bruise. I've been this way all my life, I'm probably the only girl who got bruises in ballet class. (which probably explains why I'm not a ballerina)
Tonight is Five Primary Street Techniques. If I have enough energy I'll stay for the Environmental Weapons class right after. They both sound like fun. Then I'll drag my battered body over to the pub for kung fu pub night. Whee. I'm glad I don't have to go to the office tomorrow and can work in my PJs.
Memo to self: drink plenty of water today, buy more ibuprofen and think like a warrior.2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Everybody was kung fu bowling.
2003-09-24 10:06 a.m.
Last night I joined up with the rest of my kung fu bretheren at Kung Fu Camp 2003 "Takin' it to the Streets." I attended the workshop on gun and rifle disarms. The principles were very similar to stick disarming techniques. It was a lot of fun. I had trouble with one take down where you had your attacker in a bear hug. The guys could just lift me off the floor and set me gently on the ground. I however, would just crash right ontop of them, crushing them like a big bug. I don't think seriously injured any one. Just knocked the wind out of them. The only minor injuries for me were some bruising on the back of my arms, purple knees from the takedowns and a crushed middle finger.
Here we see Tracy of ChatteringMagpie fame, holding up a poor undersash.
Not even a crushed finger could keep me from attending the kung fu bowling later that evening and kicking everyone's ass, (with my bowling score that is.) 136! That's got to be a new record for me. That 9th grade intramural bowling class sure paid off. Beer only enhanced my bowling prowess.
Here we see my friend Tim showing the proper technique for kung fu bowling. Notice the low medium cat stance. Hey! Where's your cover hand?2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Story telling, excuses and apologies.
2003-09-23 11:30 a.m.
Last night in improv class we worked on story telling. We did story telling with a partner where you’d tell it one word at a time. Then we did three words at a time. At the end of the night we did an actual Comedy Sportz game where a referee would point at someone and they had to tell the story until the ref pointed at someone else. I loved the story telling, I could have done that all night. It was fun seeing who was trying to plan ahead (it never works) and who would just freak out when they were pointed to.
I slept for ten hours last night. Before the alarm went off at 10:00am (hey, I burnt a vacation day, I’m allowed to be lazy) I had a dream about these frat boys in a boat. They were shooting in the water, trying to hit fish. When they saw me walking along the shoreline they got out a different gun and shot in the air above me. Out popped an umbrella, a cape and top hat. I put the top hat on and gave them a salute as I walked by.
Oh yeah: Tracy I know I missed the first day of camp. The improv classes are once a week and mucho dinero. Calling Sifu this morning to make sure I can still jump in. Also buying batteries for my digital camera. Everyone else, my supergold account lapsed which is why the comments were wonky for awhile. They work now so comment away!0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Why I like my boss.
2003-09-22 11:34 a.m.
Sent: Monday, September 22, 2003 9:30 AM
Subject: Vacation request
Kung fu camp is in full swing this week. Can I take Tuesday and Wednesday as vacation days?
Sent: Monday, September 22, 2003 10:56 AM
Subject: RE: Vacation request
You bet - don't hurt yourself...
Sent: Monday, September 22, 2003 10:57 AM
Subject: RE: Vacation request
Can I hurt other people?
Sent: Monday, September 22, 2003 10:58 AM
Subject: RE: Vacation request
Why not?2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Don't harsh a girl's massage buzz.
2003-09-22 9:55 a.m.
Hello Monday. I'm sipping my grande shot in the dark (black) and waiting for the dictation faeries to send me the two letters I called in on Friday afternoon. How was your weekend?
Friday I fought off a headache while I reviewed two files and called in the letters. I watched Law and Order reruns and slept at various intervals. Simon and I went out to Stanfords for dinner after discovering Olive Garden had a hour plus wait list.
Saturday I slept until noon. That evening I took Simon to the symphony, it was the first concert in my series. Lots of different people on stage and some players moving up or down the hierarchy. It was a little strange with the first chair dead due to an overdose and the conductor retiring. The new conductor was nice with a charming accent (German?) and a boisterous conducting style. The played Holst's The Planets. I can't tell you how many pages of sci fi I've written to that CD. It was lovely to see it performed live. It was also exciting to see my name in the program as a contributor. Yep, Kungfukitten's a benefactor to the arts.
Sunday I slept until noon. Got up, ate lunch and went to Dosha for a massage. The masseuse liked my dragon and made sure it wasn't overly man-handled. I sat in the steam room for a little bit afterwards, forcibly removing all toxins from my body. If you can jude the goofy happy way I was feeling, I have lots of toxins. When I got home Simon harshed my massage buzz by having "one of those talks" and I spent a good hour reassuring him that I'm not going to throw his butt out on the street any time soon. Then we went and saw T3.
Coming this week in living color……Tonight! In improv acting class we learn story telling. This week! Kung fu camp: firearm disarming, knife fighting, stick and staff fighting and sparring tips and tricks!0 People have tried to sell me Viagra