Public Service Announcement.
2004-07-03 10:51 a.m.
Only seven more shopping days until my birthday.
2 People have tried to sell me ViagraI know. I know.
2004-07-02 10:03 p.m.
I need to quit putting myself in self imposed exile on Friday nights. Must be social. Must put on a good show.
Today I went to the chiropractor to get my spine cracked and realigned. Then I headed over to my local thrift store for some browsing. St. Vincent's has the best used book store. $1 per book? It's a bibliophile's wet dream. Picked up a bunch of sci fi and six fabulous cocktail glasses all for under five bucks.
Came home, got a headache, took medication, watched Law and Order, napped, cleaned house, trimmed the cat's claws, surfed the net and here I am. I'll go out tomorrow night. I swear.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraPimp-o-rama.
2004-07-01 6:56 p.m.
With all these endorphins rushing through my system I forgot to mention that I went to improv class last night. I got to do a scene for "foreign film dub" where I was one of the translators. If you've seen Whose Line then you know this game. Two people do a scene in gibberish and two people off stage translate the dialog. In comedysportz the translators have to run to the middle of the stage, translate, then run off stage. In improv one of the funner things do is called "pimping" which is when you force someone to do something ridiculous for a laugh. I got pimped a lot last night. The guy I was translating for would force me to run back and forthe across the stage over and over again until I was breathless. I pimped him back by translating things that matched his actions but not at all what he was intending. Heh heh. Very fun.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraWanted: minions.
2004-07-01 6:33 p.m.
My spine feels like a well cooked piece of asparagus. I got up early, drank coffee and read for awhile. Then it was off to the spa to begin celebrating my birthday month. I sat in the steam room for half an hour then got a massage, facial and pedicure. It was four hours of utter bliss. It was like being royalty and having servents. Everyone was so nice and complimentary. People brought me glasses of water with lemon, dried fruit, nuts and fashion magazines. Oh how I long for minions. I try to get the cats to do my bidding at home but they invariably burn the foccacia and spill the chardonnay.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraReady, set, slack!
2004-06-30 11:20 a.m.
Between the days of July 1-18 I only have to come into the office once and attend jury duty for two days. My desk is completely caught up until my return. My days will be filled with kung fu-ing, writing, sleeping, yoga, red wine, gardening and hopefully a few social activities. It�d be nice to go on a couple of dates but I think the closest I�m going to get to dating this summer is putting boys in headlocks in kung fu class. Alas.
I�ve been spending money uncontrollably lately: clothes shopping, season tickets to the theater, writing conventions, eating out, books from Amazon.uk, cases of wine. The result being a near empty checking account and the slow rise of my credit card bill! Where did all my money go? What happened to my common sense and excellent money management skills? Now if you�ll excuse me, I�m going to make an appointment at the spa. D�oh!
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraSuper corporate powers activate!
2004-06-29 3:27 p.m.
Corporate superheroes that won't have their own movie any time soon...
Captain Collator � Can collate using super human kinetic energy.
Personal Phone Call Dude � Can make over 100 personal phone calls in one work day.
Double Tall Non Fat Latte Girl � Caffeine makes her work fast but no one can understand a god damn word she says.
Professor Xerox � Transparent stomach doubles as a copy machine. (Don�t ask where the paper comes out).
Pointless E-mail Forwarding Woman � Will send you every petition, virus threat, picture of people�s pets and hoax that she gets.
Lord Typesofast � Can type 2,457 words per minute. However, he goes through eight keyboards a day.
GI Jonsing-for-a-cigarette � Constantly trying to quit smoking, covered completely in nicotine patches. He can hear a fresh pack of smokes being opened two miles away.
Supernark � Reports back to the boss everything you�re doing that�s not work related. Like writing this entry.
What superhero works at your office?
4 People have tried to sell me ViagraEveryone needs a hobby.
2004-06-29 9:40 a.m.
After a month on the disabled list I think I�m finally healed up enough to go and get the crap beat out of me again. Back to kung fu class tomorrow night! I�ve totally missed it. I�ve been doing forms in slow motion around the house and practicing hand combinations in the elevator at work. I go back to the chiropractor tonight for another session of electrodes and spine crackage. Last time she did some funky thing with my hip joints that immediately increased my flexibility by about 25%. It was very cool. She said they have lots of dancers that come in just for that.
Work is strange. No one is here, including my boss. I�m desperately trying to get everything caught up halfway through July so I can take some time off. I�ve had no vacation yet this year and have four weeks to burn. I think I�m going stick around town and rewrite the novel and work on the house. I may take a side trip to Seattle at the last minute. It all depends on my car and my bank account.
I signed up for some extra storage on my yahoo account a few months ago and have been in the process of uploading as many of my manuscripts as I can find. I'm amazed at how many contraband files I've been storing at work. I think the LAN dudes would go insane if they found any of my trashy writing hidden among the legal documents. Oh well, everyone needs a hobby.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraTri-Met 1 SUV 0.
2004-06-28 9:31 a.m.
Nothing starts off the week as exciting is having your bus get into an accident! A soccer mom thought her SUV was quick enough to cut off a bus. Wrong. The front right corner of her car is now strewn across the highway. I�m not really sure what she was thinking. I looked up from my notebook in quiet contemplation in time to see her trying to change lanes into us. The bus didn�t even slow down, just bounced us all six inches in the air and kept going. There was a collective "Oh!" from the crowd. Once the bus stopped we had to get off and hike up the highway like a bunch of vagabond bus gypsies to wait for another bus to take us downtown. I haven�t been in an accident on the bus before. I�ve been in two on the MAX (lightrail) once we ran over a homeless guy in Skidmore fountain (dead) and another time we hit a car at Lloyd center. What do I do with all this adrenaline?
3 People have tried to sell me Viagra