The Narcatics.
2006-09-15 11:50 p.m.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraYour pants are on fire but I do not care.
2006-09-15 11:01 a.m.
I may be a little behind on the times but even I got sucked into the LonelyGirl15 phenomena on MyTube. There was just something so compelling about the story of a 15 year old naive home schooled girl with super religious strict parents who was stuck in her room with a computer and a video camera. In retrospect, there were some dead give aways: she's drop dead gorgeous, her room is right out of the Ikea catalog and the videos are high resolution and beautifully edited with a soundtrack. Just like everyone else, I think I just wanted to believe it all and be entertained.
Well, it was all a hoax. There's no such thing as Bree. And for the record, there was no Bree Suit filled with monkeys playing the part. I spent some time thinking about it, and I really don't care. I was entertained and will continue to watch whatever she puts out. Really, it's just like television. This isn't the first time someone has misrepresented themselves on the internet. I'll even let you in on a secret. My real name isn't Kungfukitten. Shhhh.
I think the main thing about the internet is that you always have in the back of your mind that anything could be a lie. Only give/spend as much money as the entertainment is worth and don't get all pissed off when you find out the truth. I don't know why people get so mad. I mean some people really go nuts. They feel betrayed, I guess. Why do they give someone they just met all this power over them? I mean would they do that for a total stranger they met in real life? Why do we get so upset when someone on the internet lies to us and what other internet hoaxes do you remember?
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraCat Ownership Section 4.0.14
2006-09-14 1:11 p.m.
I'm still sick in bed. It kind of sucks. I have that same horrible feeling before I was diagnosed when I wanted to turn myself into the hospital but I never did because I didn't know what to say. "Hi, I have joint pain, nausea and this weird sense of impending doom, like I may suddenly drop dead. Can you tuck me into a nice hospital bed and prescribe something?" Bleah. I may call and see if I can do a taper of Prednisone - or up the dosage of Methopukesate. Whatever. *Flops around on the couch like an annoyed teenager*
Funny morning. I dragged my poor dirty body into the bathtub. I love my bathtub. I have an old huge iron clawfoot tub that I take a bath in every day. I hate showers, you can't drink coffee in a shower and there's nothing quite like submerging your entire body underwater. It's the selkie in me. My cats love to walk around the edge of the tub pushing into the water the soap, sponges, bottles, etc. and occasionally drinking the warm water.
I think Trin may need glasses because she ran, jumped, missed the edge of the tub and landed in the water behind me. Luckily, I was leaning over shaving my left leg, or I might have had a frightened cat permanently attached to my spinal column.
Trinity scrambled out the back of the tub in a flurry of water and suds. She made it to the middle of the floor where she shook each paw individually then looked at me rather petulantly and let out a long: "Meeeer-ow?" You see, we have a very specific protocol for when a cat falls into the bathtub and I was not following said protocol:
CAT FALLS INTO TUB SECTION 4.0.14
1) Say: "Poor kitty kitty! Did you fall into the tub? Are you wet, sweetie pie?"
2) Get a fresh clean white towel from clean towel basket and rub down wet cat. Make soothing noises and pay special attention to the tail.
3) Fold towel in half and place in front of heating vent so cat can sit on it and clean themselves, while warm air blows over them.
4) Try not to laugh.
I was giggling and trying to finish shaving my leg. "Me-ew?" Trin yelled, flattening her ears against her skull. I sighed. I was warm and had just gotten half my leg nice and smooth. I got out, dried myself off and went through steps one through four and then got back into the tub which was slightly tepid. "Merf," she said cleaning between her toes. "Tell me about it," I answered.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraHome sick, ovaries spitting eggs.
2006-09-12 1:03 p.m.
I called in sick today. I still have a really bad headache and don't feel very well. I'm wrapped up on the couch in a big quilt depsite the fact it's sunny outside. On Sunday I got up for lunch and went back to bed until four. Something's not quite right with my body. I've made an appointment with my rheumatologist. I'm going to ask him to inject both of my ankles - a facet joint injection, I think they call it, where they stick a huge needle in your joint and fill you full of steroids and marcaine. I've been terrified to do this in the past but now I'm desperate for relief. I'm tired of my ankles hurting when I do mundane things like a little bit of walking and/or standing.
I made some new banner ads this weekend based upon googling "bad women's pick-up lines." I came up with these (in order of popularity so far):
Procrastination anyone?
2006-09-12 12:11 a.m.
Things you should do today:
1) Stop by TranceJen and leave her a voice comment. It's really cool you just call a number, type in the code and talk. She's been sick and semi-housebound so she would love to hear from you even if you're a complete stranger!
2) Prank call ShutUpMom. She has double dog dared you to prank her. In fact, you have her permission. Give her something fun to listen to when she gets home from work today.
3) Cherz is on vacation until September 17th and he not only has a house sitter, but a blog sitter. The blog has suddenly turned hot pink and is adorned with pictures of Paris Hilton and Dog the Bounty Hunter. Stop by and say hi to guest blogger Laura (did I mention she's totally hot?)
4) Watch a kid in a red shirt Robot Dance like a freakish double jointed rubber robot.
5) Order your Cat Pirate Shirt just in time for Talk Like a Pirate Day. Proceeds go to my medical bills and possibly a Pain Killer at Salvador Molly's on TLAPD.
6) Enter the New Yorker Caption Contest. My entry: "When Ralph asked Helen if she wanted to try getting stoned she didn't know he was talking about the Rosetta Stone." Do you think that's high brow enough for the New Yorker? They are obviously stone tablets but they aren't actually shaped like the Rosetta stone. I bet I'm disqualified and ridiculed.
7) Laugh at one of Farks Photoshop Challenges. As usual, offensive and in bad taste, along with one naked male butt in the distance, but otherwise safe for work. This stuff just cracks me up, then again, I'm easily amused.
8) If you live in Oregon you should totally register your blog with Oregon Blogs. I've been getting quite a few hits from them.
9) Watch Kitten is Angry! video. Loki sat with me and watched this intently. He really liked it for some reason.
10) You should read my newest comic. It's a cat thing. Cat owner's will totally get it. Maybe ferret owners too as they like to cram themselves into things as well.
There is no such thing as a free umbrella.
2006-09-10 9:28 p.m.
Hi guys! It's video blog Monday! Technically it's Sunday night but you know what I mean. Plus tomorrow is Nine One One and I don't want to relive all of that right now. There will be plenty of time for reflection, sorrow and anger tomorrow. Please let me know if you prefer this format or the Flash format from last week:
0 People have tried to sell me Viagra