Pimping away the night.
2004-10-17 6:54 p.m.

Wearing: Black comedysprortz t-shirt, black yoga pants
Drinking: Amador Organic Zin
Thinking: Is it too early to go to bed?
Disappointed: That The Simpsons aren't on tonight.

Last night was a serious evening of deja vu when I ended up in the Red Room at Voodoo Lounge for a Birthday Party. It's like drinking in hell. As per usual, lots of drinks, dancing and frivolity. Let me tell ya, there's nothing like having boys hit on you in front of your boss. Hopefully he was tipsy (my boss). I tried to use my expert pimping skills to hook up two party crashers with two luscious girls from Corvallis. Hey, J.P. - I can bring them to you and introduce them but you have to quit scaring them off! Obviously this isn't an occupation that I was meant to do.

1 People have tried to sell me Viagra
How much more fun can my head handle?
2004-10-16 11:47 a.m.

Just to make sure that I didn't forget it, my headache woke me up at 6:00am. I flipped my forehead the bird in the bathroom mirror and downed some medication and went back to bed. I had really bad dreams last night - the usual, crazy people breaking into the house and me having to fight them off, getting slashed and stabbed in the process. Ick. 98 percent of the time my dreams are wonderful refuges. The other two percent leave me feeling more tired in the morning than when I went to bed.

Woke up around 11:00 and went movie star incognito (sunglasses, pony tail and lipstick) to the motor mocha for some coffee. There's lots of things I need to do today (like buy coffee) but (Loki, says and buy wet cat food) but I'm not going to get any of that done. I'm going to take a nap and watch CSI and draw pictures of my NaNoWriMo characters. Then it's off to a birthday party where drunken debauchery is promised. I don't know if my head can hadle all this fun.

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
I have a headache, I write stories and I vote.
2004-10-15 2:37 p.m.

I got a headache this afternoon but I'm hoping the meds will kick it's ass before it gets too bad. My eyesight went a little wonky in my right eye which usually means that it's going to be a migraine rather than a normal headache. It's always a game, I've had a headache every day of my life since I was twelve years old. It's difficult to figure out which ones will just be your ordinary annoying headache and which one will actually be a really bad tension headache or a full blown migraine.

On the upside I've gotten some work done this morning and I'm going to take a break and clean my house until it's uber spiffy. I may even have some time to write or draw. I feel a story coming on.

I got my voters ballot today and immediately filled it out. Let's swing Oregon to the left people!

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Snicker.
2004-10-14 2:16 p.m.

Okay, is it just me or is there something hysterically funny about this headline?

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Reporting for duty, sir.
2004-10-14 10:19 a.m.

It�s boss�s week. Did you know that? Probably only if you work in Corporate Amerika like I do. We�re taking bossman out after work for happy hour enjoyment.

One of my improv buddies works at the UP theater and they had a huge costume sale yesterday. I ran out there but most of the really cool things were already gone. I did find a cute light green chemise that will go great under my medieval bodice/dress. I was hand washing the chemise last night and noticed that the label said it was made in Texas by Benedictine Nuns. Wow. Now I feel like I�ll go to hell if I wear it for Halloween as a naughty tavern wench.

My poor skin has been dry and dull lately. I scrubbed the heck out of it last night and applied a thick layer of Aveda moisturizing mask and fell asleep on the couch on my back. I think I was talking in my sleep because when I woke up both cats were staring at me expectantly, like they wanted me to finish the story.

I had a dream that I had a device that would show when tachyon force fields around books and when they were low, you could jump into the text and save people who were stuck there. This would wreak havoc with the narrative but this seemed an important job at the time.

3 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Uh, no.
2004-10-13 9:40 a.m.

I�ve discovered that I can work effectively while lying on my back. Of course, this is harder to do at work because when I�m lying on the floor of my cubicle people stop and ask if I�m having a heart attack or a stroke. "No, I�m fine. It�s just my lower back." At home I can balance my laptop on my midriff and type around 50 wpm. Not bad.

Today I�m back in my cubicle in my ergonomically correct chair and my back hurts. A lot. Neurologically and radiologically everything is normal. Then why does it frickin� hurt so bad? No fair! This is driving me insane. More PT next week. I don�t have high expectations. They don�t really know what to do with us extreme sports people. For instance, range of motion testing:

"Lean back," she says.
"It hurts, but I can lean back." I say.
"Go ahead."
"How far?" I ask..
"What do you mean?"
"I can go all the way to the floor if you want me to."
"Uh, no."
"It hurts but I can do it. Let me show you."
"No, wait, uh, no."

1 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Parking ticket.
2004-10-12 10:52 p.m.

Dear Portland Parking Police,
I hope you fucking choke on the $40 check enclosed.
Love,
KFK

What else is going to happen to me?

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Held captive.
2004-10-12 8:22 a.m.

Ack. I'm working from home today. I have a migraine hangover (no booze involved, just the aftermath of a really bad headache and lots of medication) and my lower back is killing me something awful. I did manage to sleep through the entire night without waking up once, maybe that's why my back hurts so much, I didn't get a chance to change position. Whatever it is, it hurts and I feel like whining about it. I've got work with me and stuff that I can do here. I just don't have access to downtown shopping, Starbucks coffee and that really nice barista that puts and extra shot of espresso in my coffee when I'm looking rather tired.

My writing group meets tonight. I hope I'm upright by then or I'll have to lie flat on a bench and give my critiques. Days like this my body makes me feel like I'm being held captive.

Oh, and I try to take my stupid car to DEQ yesterday and they're closed. On Mondays, not just because it was Columbus Day (why do we have that holiday?) they're closed every Monday. WTF? It's a goverment run facility? Why is it closed on a Monday? So there's another hour of my life that I won't get back.

4 People have tried to sell me Viagra
I give away books like they're kittens.
2004-10-11 12:53 p.m.

I got two copies of "Something Rotten" by Jasper Fforde (number four in the Thursday Next series) for my birthday. I've tried to sell it cheap at work but no one seems to read here. Is anyone reading this series that hasn't gotten to this one yet? Does anyone want it for free? E-mail me your address and it's all yours. Spread the literary wealth, I always say. First to shout gets it.

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Improv, beer, comics and nanowrimo.
2004-10-11 10:20 a.m.

Last night I went to improv and learned how to work our little video system during the show. I also got to work the door and stamp people�s hands. It was fun working behind the counter; I felt uber cool. A group of us went out for beer and snacks afterwards at McMenamins. It seems to be the only place open late on a Sunday that is still serving food and can accommodate twelve hyper actor-types.

I swear that all my comics aren�t going to be male bashing ones. Really. If I�ve shared an amusing experience with you and you would like to see it comicitized, let me know. Someone told me I should start sending them to The Mercury. Maybe after I learn how to draw.

Twenty more days until NaNoWriMo. Have you checked out their new website yet? It�s been completely revamped. I updated my profile and grabbed one of the participant icons (left side column near the bottom). I think I�ll start doing sketches of my characters and work some more on the outline.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
The world is full of freaks, my friends.
2004-10-11 12:02 a.m.

The next installment in comics. My summer of internet dating. Thank the Goddess it's over. Lots of first dates and uh, no second ones. However, not all were bad. The best dates turned out to be more like networking opportunities and I made some neat friends but the world is full of freaks, my friends.

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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