I see hipsters.
2005-02-12 11:23 a.m.
Have you been on Friendster lately? I kind of abadoned it for awhile as not a lot was going on. I decided to check in this week and discovered they have a lot of new features including the ability to import your Yahoo! phonebook and see who has a Friendster account. I've gone from five Friendster friends to nineteen. Tres popular. This includes five of my internet friends like CuppaJoe who helped me test out Freindster's beta chat. It's been way fun. I've been corresponding with friends from high school and college that I haven't checked in with for awhile.
Last night I met some friends at Doug Fir for drinks. I thought that place was a restaurant not a club. It was filled to the rafters with twenty something hipsters. I was completely awashed in a sea of brown clothing, expensive yet messy haircuts and designer eye glasses. I felt incedibly old and out of place in my black leather jacket. Hipster boys in brown t-shirts that said Dougfir (we all thought it said douche for the first two hours) walked around with secret service type ear pieces making sure that no one got out of hand.
The most rowdy thing we saw was the waitress dropping a cup of tartar sauce on the ground. It splashed up (yes, I didn't know tartar sauce could splash either) and got all over hipster girl's puffy jacket. Then we watched as her boyfriend walked up behind her to cop a feel and got it all over his pants. Heh heh. Dude, what's that white stuff all over your crotch? I know, juvenile. But I'm still laughing.
1 People have tried to sell me ViagraGross question girl.
2005-02-10 9:38 a.m.
We have physicians who come and consult for us. I met with one of our specialists yesterday who also has credentials as a medical examiner. When we were done discussing work I turn to him and said:
KFK: "Okay, I�ve got a really gross question for you."
Dr.: "Oooookaaaaay."
KFK: "How much force does it take to chop off a human head?"
Dr.: "That would depend upon a lot of factors. What are they using?"
KFK: "A broadsword, I started out with a katana but I didn�t think that would be strong enough."
Dr.: "It would take less force if the blade was curved. Like one of those Middle Eastern swords. I forget what they�re called."
KFK: "A scimitar."
Dr: "Yes, that�s it. The curve actually helps to slice it off."
KFK: "But how much force?"
Dr.: "Not a heck of a lot."
KFK: "But if you had to estimate pounds per force."
Dr.: "I�d say fifty to eighty pounds. It�s totally doable."
KFK: ~taking notes~
Dr.: "Why do you always ask me such weird questions?"
KFK: "It�s for a book I�m writing. The heroine goes around chopping the heads off monsters."
Dr.: "Ha. There�s never a dull moment with you around."
School Records.
2005-02-08 10:54 p.m.
A few years ago my parents sent me my school records scrapbook that they kept when I was growing up. I opened it up hoping to scan in all my school portraits from kindergarten until senior year. The only problem was that there was only kindergarten, first grade and fifth grade portraits included.
Dude, I'm the first born. I would expect my school record book to be complete. I mean, I could totally understand that they'd slack on my younger brother but moi? So I called my parents and demanded that they go into the musty dank basement and dig out my school pictures because I know they're down there somewhere. So today in the mail I got an envelope from my father. In it were some pretty cute pictures from childhood but still no school portraits. I may have drive up to T-town and dig through the basement myself. In the mean time I give you Kungfukitten showing off her wicked martial arts skills at the tender age of three. Notice the purse.
What was going on in my head at the time.
2005-02-07 10:35 p.m.
As regular readers are aware, I've been in the process of archiving my older writing everything from 7th grade up through grad school. I found a page from my notebook when I was at Evergreen State College circa 1989. I still have a lot of the same questions. Let me read it to you:
Don't do it, Janey!
2005-02-07 3:13 p.m.
During my lunch break I walked up to Portland State to check out the library's book sale. I was all a twitter thinking that there would be some really cool academic books on sale, just imagine it! $1 for paperbacks! $2 for hardbacks! But I was fairly disappointed to find that the majority, like eighty-five percent of the books, were trash fiction. I still managed to spend eight dollars. I found an uber funky edition of Ferdinand, Count Fathom by Tobias Smollett (1753).
I also found a romance novel written in 1952 called Janey's Fortune. Let me quote from it ~ahem~
"Hi, Janey. I brought out a piece of watermelon specially for you." Linda Baits eight year old half sister, nodded at the plate beside her. "It's super the way you cool off while you swallow it." If this wasn't said by a child I would think it sounds kind of dirty.
Here's another bit: "Why should Buck be like Rob? Why should he? Buck's rich and good-looking and-and gay. Janey scolded herself. He loves me, he needs me! That's the thing about him I ought to remember." Oh Janey, don't fall for a gay man! I know Buck smells good and he's an impeccable dresser but he will never be able to love you the way that you love him! Oh wait, gay meant something else in 1952 didn't it? All right, I'm easily amused today.
1 People have tried to sell me ViagraHave you met my ferret?
2005-02-07 10:01 a.m.
I went to bed at a suitable hour but I couldn�t actually fall asleep until two in the morning. Part of it was me, I just couldn�t shut up the rambling soliloquy in my head and the other part were the cats who were jumping on the bed, fighting, pushing things off the counter, chewing on the furniture and hacking up hairballs on the carpet. Finally we all settled down. Loki crawled under the covers and conked out. Trinity curled up at my feet and purred herself into submission. I think I passed out due to exhaustion and a second later the alarm went off and it was time to start the day.
So here I am at work with a huge mug of coffee staring bleary eyed at the mountain of work all around me. If there was an earthquake they�d need heavy machinery to dig me out. Part of my brain explosion last night was the fact that I ran the whole adoption thing past my mother. I only do things like this when I�m desperate and need validation. Like earlier this year when I had convinced myself that I way dying of thyroid cancer I called my mother and screamed into the receiver �Oh my God, would you and dad totally disown me me if I got pregnant and had a child out of wedlock? I�m not pregnant, I�m just sayin!� To which my mother assured me that she would not disown me and they�d be happy grandparents. Unfortunately, mom did not sense that I needed validation this time and instead gave her honest opinion that I�d be letting strangers raise my child as I�d have to work and little Sosia Favonia or Trevor Scott would be in day care four days a week. She was a teacher and is very pro stay at home mom for the first few years of life. So instead of validation I got a guilt trip. Man, who the hell do I think I am anyway? Raising a kid on my own. It�s ridiculous. Preposterous. So I�m back to phase one. Maybe I�ll buy a ferret and name him Trevor.