Cat fight club.
2003-08-02 2:05 p.m.

I was putting away some pictures today and found some kitten pictures of the cats. They still fight like that.

Welcome to Cat Fight Club.

The frist rule of Cat Fight Club is no one talks about Cat Fight Club. The second rule of Cat Fight Club is if this is your first night, you must fight. The third rule about Cat Fight Club is NO ONE TALKS ABOUT CAT FIGHT CLUB.

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Attacked!!!!
2003-07-31 12:18 p.m.

I was physically assaulted during my lunch break. I was walking back from Borders and some homeless psycho nut job hauls off and hits me. We were walking towards each other on a busy sidewalk. There was plenty of room between us, I wasn't running him off the sidewalk or anything. When he got next to me something strange clicked in his brain, he looked at me, muttered something and punched my right shoulder with his right hand. Thank god for kung fu, I let my shoulders go limp and chi soa-ed to deflect most of the blow. It still hurt a lot. I turned so I could watch him, hands up and ready but he kept walking, lost in his own violent delusional world. To all you business men who watched that happen and didn't stop to ask if I was all right: Fuck you! Now I'm in fight or flight mode. My phone just rang and I nearly had a heart attack. I sometimes hate working downtown.

4 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Much beating of breast and rending of clothes.
2003-07-30 3:07 p.m.

I've been working on a story during my lunchbreak at work. I'm the first to admit that it's in the sappy/horror romance department but I really like the characters, the setting and the sexual tension that is building up between the characters. You've heard of trash reading, well this is trash writing. On Monday I opened up the document and added two pages and passed the 7,500 word mark. Wow, that's about twenty five type written pages (double spaces Times New Roman). I went to open up the document today and it's empty. Blank. Zero characters. Zero bytes. I nearly screamed. I just put in a call to our LAN dude. He's going to pull up the document from Friday night's network. That means I'll only lose four pages instead of 25. Of course, it's not work related but I didn't tell them that. I mean, I'm allowed to write crap on my lunchbreak right?? Now I've learned my lesson. I'm going to start e-mailing my documents to my home computer and making hard copies of stuff as a double back up. The thought of trying to recreate the wonderful drivel that I've written was enough to bring tears to my eyes. I'm considering printing the story in pieces like a serial novel. Maybe each Friday will be crappy romance/horror story day.

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Tropical heatwave.
2003-07-30 11:40 a.m.

The weather has pretty much wiped me out. I've quit eating, am pretty much sticking to drinking water. The cats are taking the heat in stride. They lounge around like furry puddles during the day. In the morning when it's cooler they run around, wrestle and destroy things they're not suppose to (the toilet paper roll, mail, magazines etc.). I guess that means they're feeling good. I've got the kitty mermaid indoor water fountain going which encourages them to drink plenty of water. I even locked them in the air conditioned bedroom with me last night for a few hours to make sure they cooled down. It seems like I'm the only one suffering ill effects from the heat.

Replace "Garfield" with "Trinity"

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Freaking hot.
2003-07-29 9:21 a.m.

Last night I nearly puked on the training floor (thumbs up). I get heat stroke very easily and I knew my body was suffering yesterday so what do I do? Go to hot and stuffy kwoon and work out for an hour and fifteen minutes! Normally I turn a nice pink color when working out in hot weather, last night I kept turing this frightening shade of gray. The good news is I made it through the whole class without puking/passing out/whining loudly. When I started to get light headed, I just worked on my breathing until I felt better. Portland is having a severe weather alert today. There is suppose to be a record high of 100 degrees. The last record was set in 1990 at 99 degrees. Whatever. All I know is that it's too freakin hot and I'm severely dehydrated despite drinking a couple liters of water. My body seems to get rid of it as soon as I put it in my system.

1 People have tried to sell me Viagra
"Dude, are you sure?"
2003-07-28 10:36 a.m.

When I worked at the bookstore my friend Greg made the coffee every morning. It wasn't so much coffee as a thick cup of silt. You had to actually chew it before you swallowed it but, boy! were you awake after the first cup. Since I no longer have Greg to make coffee for me I usually order a large cup of coffee with a couple shots of espresso in it. This simulates fairly closely the coffee that I'm used to drinking. I don't want a nice mild cup of coffee, I want coffee that's going to grab me by the lapels shake me then stomp on me with stilletto heels. I have discovered that there is different lingo at different coffee houses. There are a billion names for this drink such as:

Coffee add shot (starbucks)
Shot in the Dark (seattle's best)
Depth Charge (coffee people)
Speedball
Red Eye (L.A.)
Bellman
Boilerhouse
Eye Opener
Fog Lifter
JumpStart
Super Charger
Red Dog
Black Hole

Did I miss any names? What do they call it at your coffeehouse? One of my fondest coffee memories is during the summer in college. My friend Yeager and I had been up all night tearing up the town with an evening of booze and debauchery. We stumbled into Starbucks early in the morning and Yeager orders a quadruple shot iced vanilla latte. The barista guy looks at him all worried and says: "Dude, are you sure? I mean that's a lot of caffeine." We actually had to convince him that this was a normal drink for Yeager and he wasn't going to go into cardiac arrest on their sidewalk.

3 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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