My chi is dirty
2002-01-08 8:41 a.m.

No one has showed up to work today except for me, which means there's not enough movement to turn on the lights so I feel like I'm working in a cave again. Whose bright idea was it to install motion detectors on our floor?

I went to qigong class on Sunday. It was in a small medical office on the other side of town. There were about nine of us in a small room that was painted green and appropriately feng shuied with a little waterfall and some bells hanging by the window. We started class by sitting on pillows and doing some self massage. We'd rub our hands together really fast for friction then we'd rub our hands on our face, scalp, ears, whatever to cleanse it with energy. Then we'd flick our fingers towards the ground to get rid of the "dirty" chi then rub our hands together again and do some more. The self massage is suppose to get rid of wrinkles, improve circulation and unblock energy flow. It felt good and it was fun to feel how other people's energy was different. That was really amazing. Try it: rub your hands together and then wave your palms in front of each other about and inch apart, you should feel some warmth. Have someone else do the same thing, now hold your palms an inch apart from each other. Their energy will feel way different from yours.

Then we went through the Jade Body form. It was a standing form with a little movement and some stretching involved. We said out loud a Chinese mantra which I can't remember well enough to transcribe here. It ends with the word "ching!" said in a high pitched voice. "Ching!" It reminded me of Monty Python's machine that goes "ping!" Our instructor learned this form from the creator Lui Dong, who had to flee China when the government was gathering up the qigong practitioners to force them to tell them where all the missiles in the world were. Apparently qigong practitioners are very clairvoyant and can see things which is why the government wanted to control them. Cool. I want mystical kung fu powers.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

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