A Book Meme Because I am Bored.
2006-08-05 11:29 p.m.
I lifted this Book Meme from Dr. Flea tonight because I'm still awake and need something to do.
1. The Book That Changed My Life - When I first read Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins I thought I had just read the most amazing book ever written. It was like some sort of Bible to me. However, when I went to re-read it ten years later, I couldn't figure out what I ever saw in it. I guess I was agog with the flippant surrealism and had read much that had surpassed it and in comparison it had become somewhat tame.
2. A Book I've Read More Than Once - Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey. I've read the Dragons of Pern series over and over again since I was thirteen years old. This is my favourite escapism world.
3. A Book I'd Want With Me on a Desert Island - The Riverside Shakespeare. It's verbose and would keep me busy for an extended period of time.
4. A Book That Made Me Laugh - All of the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich. I hoot and holler out loud whenever I'm reading one.
5. A Book That Made Me Cry - I cried uncontrollably at the end of The Last Great Dance on Earth the third book in the Josephine Boneparte trilogy by Sandra Gulland. I felt like I had just lost a good friend. I must have cried for a good hour and moped around for a couple of days.
6. A Book I Wish Had Been Written - The Correct Way to Seduce Kungfukitten. Including a pull out map of where to kiss, lick, bite, nibble, blow, caress, spank and poke. In that order. I'm not like other girls (who is?) and it would save me some serious time in training.
7. A Book I Wish Had Never Been Written - Everything by Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh.
8. A Book I Am Currently Reading - Look to the right. Nectar From a Stone is the one I'm most engrossed in right now. She just killed her husband by sticking him in the crotch with a piece of glass from the window he pushed her head through. She and her maid threw his body in the local river and are pretending everyone in the house died of plague. Oh the drama!
9. A Book I Am Meaning To Read - The New Testament. Seriously. I read the Old Testament in college with an uber cool Rabbi Professor. I really need to sit down and read the NT from beginning to end.
10. Five Bloggers I Wish to Tag - Meh. Tag yourself and let me know so I can see your answers.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraThis made me smile.
2006-08-05 12:05 p.m.
This is far too entertaining. I love the choreography. I wonder how many takes it took until they got it all right.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraDepressed but hopeful.
2006-08-04 10:17 p.m.
There was a period of time when I thought perhaps I was kicking this nasty disease in the ass and maybe it was going away and I was on the verge of a normal life again but every time I seem to have a small wrinkle of hope life kicks me in the virtual 'nads.
I took time off work because I had vacation I needed to burn and I needed time off rather than file a disability claim. I also had/have great notions of fixing the house up to sell and move to a bigger house.
But I've spent the last three days in bed. That's why I haven't updated, I really don't have anything salient to say. The house is a disaster. There's books fucking everywhere making more tiny books!. My cats keep bugging me, because they're tired of sleeping. Loki has a very unique way of waking me up. He takes his pointer claw on his right paw, puts it up my nostril, twists and pulls. Yeah, that wakes me up real fast. Trin will just start licking my eyelids until I open them up. I have me some weird cats. Loki has also figured out how to open the bedroom door. I have one of those scratching boards that drapes over the door handle. He runs, hits it, sticks and swings up which trips the door latch. Then he just walks in talking loudly to himself. I'm going to need to get a lock on that door if I want to keep him out. (He's banned from unsupervised use of my bedroom since the Squirty McSquirty incident of 2004).
Today when I was injecting myself with Methotrexate I was wondering how long I'd be sick. How long I'd have to deal with needles, if I'm not sticking myself, someone else is draining my veins with a needle. It hardly seems fair, especially since it's not being taken out my neck by a cute boy with long incisors.
Speaking of, the only thing that I've been somewhat productive at is writing: David the Assasin is finally getting his book and boy is it kinky. I was going to bring the first ten pages to read to my guru but looked at it and said "I can't read this outloud. It's practically pornographic." I've also been reading a whole heck of a lot. I'm reading "Nectar from a Stone" right now which is quickly surpassing my interest in "The Ruby Ring." I seem to be on a 1300 Welsch fiction kick - right on the heels of my Henry the VIII and Elizabeth marathon.
I'm so tired of doing nothing but sleep and read. My mother came and visited last weekend and I had so much fun with her here, but it wiped me out - and it's not like we did anything super strenuous. I did a little yardwork and took two walks. That's it.
I'm just so tired of being sick and alone. If it weren't for the internet I bet I'd be on anti-depressants or completely agoraphobic. I'm not quite to that point yet. I was once, I have good baseline. I know when I'm depressed: it's when I can't get out of bed because I'm crying and feel terribly sad 24/7. Right now, I just can't get out of bed because I'm super sleepy. My body feels broken, it's crying out for sleep to heal it. So I do.
There's plenty I'm happy and hopeful about. I'm happy that nothing new has swelled up or gone paralyzed. My eyesight has remained stable, even if I have some permanent scarring in my tear ducts. Same with my parotid glands, they don't swell anymore but I can't make spit very easily. (If I'm going to spit in your face, it's going to take me a good five minutes, plenty of time for you to run away or spit first). I haven't gained any weight despite my uber sedentary lifestyle and thanks to Denise Austin and Teresa Tapp, I have tiny sexy muscles again. My hair quit falling out/breaking and has grown half way down my back - it hits the top of my tank tops/bra now. Wow, kind of fun. And I have this overwhelming sensation that a bunch of good things are going to come together for me - including Mr. Right or at the very least, Mr. Right Now.
Here's what I want you to do: pray or meditate to whatever diety you dig (I'm a non demoninational prayer receiver) to send my sarcoidosis into remission/heal completely. I want my energy back and my joints to quit hurting so much. I want to quit taking painkillers and chemo drugs. I want to go back to kungfu school and kick some boy ass and return to the stage to make people laugh. My superhero training is only half way over. I've got to save the world.
Such a famous face.
2006-08-02 10:49 p.m.
I've been playing with the celebrity facial recognition software at My Heritage for the last hour or so. (Thank you Dr. Charles). According to their database I look exactly like the following celebrities:
Lisa Marie Presley
Aishwarya Rai
Eva Mendes
Jennifer Jason Leigh
Okay, I was not expecting any of those. I was once told I looked like Mira Sorvino which I personally didn't see but my father looks a lot like Paul Sorvino so I guess I could understand where he came up with that and who was I to argue with a struggling hollywood screenwriter? I think my long pointy nose on the side shots made me look terribly ethnic instead of pasty white which accounted for the more interesting matches but Lisa Marie? C'mon. You can do better than that, software.
Here's what I really look like in case you were wondering. Who do you look like? Do you agree?
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraI still love you Pee Wee.
2006-08-02 1:31 a.m.
It's been a long time since I've published an audio entry so if you have flash you can hear me talk about Pee Wee Herman for a minute or so. I should also warn that I say the word p3n1s three times so if you're at work wear headphones. Kat mentioned I don't sound like she expected. When I listened to it, I didn't think it sounds like my normal voice. People that know me in real life, do I sound tired and a little squeaky? I think I sound a bit French. It must be the French lace panties, maybe they're a bit too tight.
And the Blogiversary Weiners Are!
2006-07-31 6:36 p.m.
Today marks five years of blogging for me! Can you believe it? How time flies. Not all my entries were worth reading and I sure did a lot of whining (and wining) but there was some funny stuff mixed in there, so much that I even cracked myself up on occassion.
To choose the lucky winners I printed out all the comments and cut them into strips which I placed into a bag. Then my lovely assistant, Loki, was instructed to stick his head in the bag:
And gently remove two, and only two, strips of paper. After wiping off the cat spit we have our winners: Awittykitty and Curious-me, who oddly enough are right next to each other on the Haloscan page. I swear I mixed the hell out of them. Loki said he even mixed them up with his nose and ears before he chose them. To claim your swag send me an e-mail (kungfukitten I have a gmail.com account) with a snail mail address and I'll send out your KFK Party Pack of Blogiversary Goodness.
I wish I had enough cool swag and money for postage to shower all of you in the gifts you so richly deserve. Without you, dear readers, I'd be just another crazy cat lady screaming silently into cyberspace.
0 People have tried to sell me ViagraEau de Chicken Shit.
2006-07-30 11:54 p.m.
How to annoy your neighbors: go to the local nursery and buy four gigantic bags of chicken manure. Liberally sprinkle two bags along median strip garden. Put rest in the front yard with all the pretty new plants. Good for the flowers but completely disgusting to the rest of us. I did as much yardwork as my body could handle before I collapsed on the couch and ordered in dinner. My sweet mother was left to take the brunt of exclamations from passing neighbors. "Oh my God. What's that smell?" "I think I'm going to vomit." "That's disgusting." "Where is that hideous stench coming from?" Even the eight year old mafia thinks we've buried a body. I'm hoping that will keep them from trying to fence their stolen swag through me.*
I took a pear melon bubble bath and exfoliated all my skin, washed my hair twice, washed my clothes and scrubbed my fingernails and toenails with one of those little nail brushes. Yet I still smell like chicken shit. It's much fainter but when I put my hands close to my nose I think "Oh, chicken shit!" Of course we loaded up the manure first and then went shopping for herbs. "Smell this." My mother would say. "Hmm, chicken shit." I would answer every time. It bacame the afternoon's running joke. Man, it really fucked up our noses, but probably kept us from buying more plants. The girl ringing us up told us that they will actually load up the crap (literally) for customers for free! Who knew? She then told us a story about how she was heading off to a dental appointment and there was no one on the crap loading dock so she tought she'd just throw a few bags into the back of a customer's truck and off she'd go to the dentist. La de da. I think she had to switch dentists after winning most fowl (get it?) patient of the year award. *hand check* Yeah, I still stink. My cats spent a good hour smelling our shoes tonight. On the plus side, the front yard looks gorgeous. I'll try taking some pictures.
* Read yesterday's entry for more on the eight year old mafia.
0 People have tried to sell me Viagra