I live in bullet time

2002-04-18 12:55 p.m.

Just because a steel rod is wrapped in foam doesn't mean it won't hurt when you get hit with it. I can even prove that with a bruise on my left wrist on a few bumps on the top of my head. In fact I think I lost my favorite brain cell last night. The one that could do math. Thank god for adding machines. We did stick fighting with practice sticks that have a nice layer of padding over it, which frankly doesn't do much other than muffle that coconuts-banging-together sound that happens when you get whacked on the head. I've come to the realization that my reflexes are too slow. By the time I decide to block a hit or slip out of the way, I've already been whacked. My kung fu skills only work in bullet time.

I like my new job because I get to use my (remaining) brain cells. This morning I got to hang out with one of our attorneys and argue over some policy provisions. It's nice getting paid for being able to think about complex things. And hey, 18 days and no death threats. I really wanted to take on a pseudonym when I took this job. Something cool like Trixie Von Smackin. But nooooo, that would be considered "unprofessional." Where's the fun in that?

Got a black t-shirt? Then you too, can be a Ninja on a budget.

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