Top 11 signs...
2002-09-05 10:09 a.m.

Top 11 signs you have a bad *Sifu:

Doesn't bother to learn anyone's name, instead calls everyone "Grasshopper"

Testing fees include a $20 sake tax.

Recommended reading list includes "Fight Club" and "Xena Warrior Princess" scripts.

Think's Bodidharma is the new yoga studio that opened down the street.

Sparring gear is made out of bubble wrap and duct tape.

Begins every class with the ancient chant of "Letsgetreadytoruuumble!"

Sifu's "gi" is made out of white terrycloth and has Hilton Hotel embroidered on the lapel.

Answers all philosophical questions with "Ancient Chinese secret."

Threatens you with the touch of death if you don't clean out the school's bathroom.

Thinks the term "Wing Chun dummy" is an insult.

Training equipment consists of broken pool cues, empty beer bottles and folding aluminum chairs.

*Sifu - Chinese term for master/teacher. For the record, I have a good sifu!

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The Tuxedo & Kung Fu
2002-09-04 9:57 a.m.

I'm counting down the days until September 27th which is the opening of Jackie Chan's new movie The Tuxedo. It's a buddy movie co-starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. OK, I wouldn't have considered her in a million years to star in a Jackie Chan film, but I also would never have considered Chris Tucker and that worked all right.

Went back to kung fu last night. I think I did pretty well considering the fact that I was deathly ill the last couple of weeks. Worked on some club counters at increasing speeds. I'll just say that it was a good thing we were practicing with padded sticks or me and my partner would be sporting some nice bruises (and lumps on our heads) today. I had my control back by the end of class but it's really one of those things you have to continue practicing in order to keep it honed.

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Inhale, exhale.
2002-09-03 10:22 a.m.

Our company hosts a fund raiser for the United Way every year where they really work on coercing employees to donate until it hurts. Don't get me wrong, I like United Way, but they aren't my first pick for a charitable donation. However, I did my civic duty and donated some money by buying some raffle tickets. I've bought raffle tickets every year for the last six years and have won squat. This year I won free parking in the CEO's parking spot from November 21-27. Normally this would be incredibly exciting. Except I had planned on taking that week off for Thanksgiving. I might just take some time off in the beginning of December instead just so I can utilize the parking space. Hey, five days of parking downtown is a $60 value!

I can't believe it's September already. Time to put the hard top back on the miata and give her a good washing and waxing before the rainy season starts.

I'm finally breathing easier. I called sifu last night and left him a message. He's been on vacation and I've been too ill to set foot in the school for the last two weeks. I don't know how much exercise I can do but I'm going to at least start showing up. If I have to lay in the corner in a fetal position gasping for breath I'll go ahead and do that. I also start yoga back up today. It's nice to be alive. I really think my last acupuncture appointment made all the difference.

Does anyone know where I can buy some canvas tai chi shoes? Not the red rubber soled kung fu shoes, but the tai chi shoes with the thick white rubber soles that just slip on?

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