I may explode, don't be alarmed.
2001-12-17 12:01 p.m.

This entry is rated PG-13 for language.

We just got a e-mail at work that there was a bomb threat called in this morning. The police were here and they kind of looked around and decided that there probably wasn't a bomb and we should just keep working.

What the fuck? With all that's going on with "attack on america" "sleeper cells" "terrorists" not to mention that we're blowing up a third world country and pissing off a bunch of muslums, you'd think that they'd take this crap a little more seriously. Our building is 23 stories tall and has three basements. There's lots of places for bombs to be! I didn't see any bomb sniffing German Shephers in my cubicle? How well did they look? To hell with productivity, I want to be sent home.

I demand to be evacuated!

I e-mailed Simon (who works in another building a block away) and told him to take care of the cats and I want him fall in love and date again after I'm gone. I also want him to sue the company for every penny they've got. So I'm sitting in my cubicle having chest pains and imagining a painful fiery death. I'd breathe into a paper bag to help with the hyperventilhating, but my lunch bag smells like curry.

To top off my wonderful day my boss e-mailed me and a couple co workers saying that we've been approved to take a class in DreamWeaver at a local community college and we better sign up right away. The class is on Saturdays 8:30-3:30! I already give 45 hours a week to this soul sucking company I'm damn well not giving up my Saturdays as well. Plus the campus is a 30 minute drive from my house. No thank you. I politely declined saying I had kung fu class on Saturdays (true) otherwise I'd love to (untrue).

So if I don't die a gruesome explosive death I'll probably get fired for not being a "team player."

Dammit. I'm taking a two hour lunch and going shopping. If I don't update tomorrow you'll know what happened.

I'm on the CNN breaking news e-mail list and I just got this. How does this qualify as breaking news?

BREAKING NEWS from CNN.com

-- President Bush had noncancerous lesions removed from his face last week.

Watch CNN or log on to CNN for the latest news.

0 People have tried to sell me Viagra

Previous | Next