Whiplash, Shopping, Couch!
2004-02-01 10:00 a.m.

I had a very physical weekend. Friday night a couple of the girls and I sought out DJ Gregarious at his new venue. The music was good and the crowd was all right but I miss the intimacy of Lola's Room. However, I did like the cool couches at Fez that you could recline on stage. I think I managed to give myself whiplash during a Go Gos song.

Saturday was another Adventure in Personal Shopping. A group of us had brunch at the Brasserie ($3 unlimited champagne!) and then shopped until we dropped. Literally. I was working for Duane that day but still managed to buy myself two shirts, a pair of shoes, a sexy dress and a new couch!

They told me the couch was on back order for eight weeks. Then when I got home they said they found one and will have it delivered this Friday! Whee! It's red chenile with a built in chaise lounge. I've never owned a new couch before. I can't wait.

Today my whole body is tight and aching. Between kung fu, dancing and shopping all day my legs are toast.

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Improv, kung fu and oh my legs!
2004-01-30 8:52 a.m.

Lots of things have gone on in the last 48 hours that have been fun. First I went back to my improv classes which was hysterically funny. We test drove a new game that involved story telling and scene work in quick sucession. Met lots of new people whose names I cannot remember now. Damn my short term memory!

Last night I went to kung fu class and we worked on one of my favorite take downs. Oh man, my body was having a revolution when I got home last night. Knees, ankles and feet were all in pain. I took a huge ibuprofen and my legs are feeling a bit better today. I thought my thighs would be sore today but they feel fine, thanks to Yoga and all the warrior and balance postures we've been doing. I also noticed that sifu was sporting some new ink, so I had to talk tattoos with him after class. The upper sashes are hosting open gym on Sundays now. I'm so happy, I'm always bored on Sunday afternoon and this will give me something to do. Plus it's late enough that if I whoop it up on Saturday I can still get some restorative sleeep.

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What's your favorite color? Red, no blue!!
2004-01-28 2:54 p.m.

I went to a training this morning over at our local mini World Trade Center which was given by a librarian on how to do research on the internet.

At one point she says to the audience "So let's say you want to look up the airborne velocity of an unladen swallow..." wait for it

I was the only person out of five hundred that shouted out "European or African!" Then the guy behind me screamed.

Say what? Are we the only three people that ever saw "Monty Python and the Holy Grail?" I totally outed myself as geek infront of half the department. Plus I was sitting next to our medical director. Oh well, they already know I'm a freak.

And in case you want to know the answer.

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Squish squash.
2004-01-28 8:15 a.m.

So I'm riding the bus home last night and I've got my iPod blaring Japanese anime bebop and I'm happily scribbling in my notebook. This gigantic man sits down next to me and he's pretty polite about hanging half way off the seat so he's not actually squishing me into the side of the bus. So we're riding along companionably until he starts nodding off. First he starts with the head jerking, then he starts slowly leaning into me. I pretend to get something out of my bag and elbow him sharply in the ribs. He bobs awake for a moment but is soon back asleep and slowly smothering me by leaning all his body weight against me. I'm sure people from the outside saw my smooshed face against the window and heardy my muffled cries of "Mff! Mff! Mrelp me!" This time I elbowed him even harder and announced loudly that my stop was coming up and I needed to get out. NOW! Then I stood for twenty blocks until my stop came up. Amanda, please add Gigantic Narcoleptics to the list of people not allowed to ride my bus. Thanks.

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I think those are my only skills.
2004-01-27 9:54 a.m.

I have not been sleeping well lately. I'm planning in wearing myself out today by an hour of yogaerobics during lunch and kung fu tonight. We'll see if that works. I slept through my alarm this morning because I was having an interesting dream of racing spaceships, sort of like rogue squadron from Star Wars. I think my subconscious mind is telling me to change careers. Does anyone know of any jobs where I can get paid to:

Slay vampires
Fly a spaceship
Dance to eighties music
Drink wine professionally
Beat up annoying people
Save the world
Dig up artifacts with special powers
Find and decipher ancient manuscripts
Shop

2 People have tried to sell me Viagra
Virality.
2004-01-26 3:04 p.m.

Wow. My office has just been hit with a huge virus. I'm getting tons of trash e-mails from people all over the company with wacky attachments. I'm deleting these things but to no avail. Our tech people must be having a coronary. I think I'll just go home.

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You go, girl.
2004-01-26 12:33 p.m.

Kung Fu Freda Sends Intruder Packing

PENSIONER Freda Hall proved she was no pushover when she threatened to use kung fu on a burglar who walked into her house.

The 74-year-old, who lives alone in Waddon, sent the unwelcome visitor packing by saying she would use the ancient Chinese martial art.

Freda was immediately suspicious when a man knocked at her door saying he needed to check the water pressure, and kept a watchful eye on him.

She said: "He picked the wrong person."

When the man went inside, he said he needed to go upstairs to the bathroom, but she refused to let him.

She said: "He told me he'd been doing some plumbing next door and he had to check the water pressure.

"He argued on with me, saying his boss would be angry if he didn't do it, so I told him I'd write a note for his boss, saying I was satisfied, and he eventually took it and left."

About 10 minutes later, Mrs Hall heard some floorboards creaking.

She walked into the kitchen to find the same man had let himself back in.

She said: "He said he had to check this water. So I made him sit down and I said "You're lucky I don't use my kung fu moves on you or you'd be smashed into the floor.

"He was pale already, but he went a lot paler after that."

The man eventually left.

Police at South Norwood said they believed they had caught the man responsible and he will face trial later this month.

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My aura is black and it's raining outside.
2004-01-26 9:44 a.m.

I woke up with a cough this morning. I feel like a pack a day smoker without the benefit of having a nicotine buzz. This must be the last phase in my cold.

It's raining outside and I'm feeling uninspired. I want to start another novel so I'll have something to do on the weekends and a creative outlet. I feel like there is so much stuff inside of me that's about ready to burst out. It's either write another novel or have a baby. Writing a novel is cheaper and won't mess with my insides, or my outsides for that matter.

My acupunturist/qigong teacher has roped me into an all girl intuitive healing group. We got to work with the aura on Friday and the different layers of it. It's pretty wu wu but fun. The outside layer of my aura is black. I thought, cool, black goes with everything and is very stylish, but apparently that isn't a very good color for your aura. It should be something shiny and light. It's like I'm walking around with armour on. Makes sense to me.

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